Ex-spouse has right to keep military retirement

Q: I have a friend that asked me this so I am research­ing it for him. He was mar­ried for 13 years and after he retired, got divorced from his wife. Accord­ing to the divorce decree, he had to pay her a por­tion of his retire­ment. The ques­tion is this…If the ex-wife remar­ries, is he still required to make those pay­ments or does it stop when she remarries?

–James, Quan­tico, Va.

A: Your ques­tion focuses on an area in which I receive a lot of ques­tions plus I read a lot of emo­tional com­men­tary. It’s a hot topic. Unlike alimony which often ends upon remar­riage, the Uni­formed Ser­vices For­mer Spouses Pro­tec­tion Act(USFSPA) dic­tates that mil­i­tary retire­ment be treated as prop­erty by state courts. So, your friend’s ex-spouse would likely con­tinue to be enti­tled to her por­tion of the mil­i­tary retirement-even if she remar­ries. If he opted for SBP, he would likely see relief there; see these mil​i​tary​.com columns­for addi­tional information.

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161 responses to “Ex-spouse has right to keep military retirement”

  1. Another great “Ser­vice to Sol­diers” brought to you by the Demo­c­rat Party and ol’ Patsy Schroeder from Col­orado.
    Use of the word “enti­tled” is both­er­some. I know in some cases there is jus­ti­fi­ca­tion. It still is grat­ing, espe­cially when the law is so unfairly applied.

    1. I agree. Patsy Schroeder, screwed over the mil­i­tary man. AS if most of the time, those wives actu­ally COST their hus­bands pro­mo­tions, ect.
      I was mar­ried for 2 years in the Marines, got out to to save my mar­riage to her (HA!). STILL got divorced. Well, 14 years later (after join­ing the Nasty Guard) I got a reserve retire­ment. THE ex men­tioned she was going to go after my retire­ment. WOW. Funny thing, I told her since it was now a RESERVE PENSION, I didn’t get a dime till i was 62. By that time, I hope the bitc# is well.….….
      Espe­cially since she did SUCH a good job rais­ing our child. (HS drop out, arrested for drugs, ect)

    2. funny thing

  2. The way I under­stand it ( my mother and father are in the same posi­tion ), if she remar­ries before age 55 then she will for­feit those pay­ments. If she waits until 55 she will likely receive the ben­e­fits for the extent of the retirement.

    1. I would like more infor­ma­tion on this spe­cific sub­ject as well.

      1. That’s right, an SBP recip­i­ent that gets mar­ried prior to age 55 will for­feit SBP pay­ments. If that new mar­riage ends because of death or divorce, SBP pay­ments will restart.

  3. OK!

  4. My Mother was mar­ried to my Father almost his whole time in the Air Force. he retired in 1978​.my Mother and Father got divorced around 1990​.Is my Mother still enti­tled to a ID card and tricare?

    1. is there any ben­e­fits for women who are forced into a divorce at 78 after mar­ried to retired a.f. ret. chief after 33 years of marriage.he had stroke and filed for divorce after chil­dren per­suaded him that i was not enti­tled to any thing at his death.i have not been able to get any infor­ma­tion, he was retired from mil­i­tary when we mar­ried. how­ever i was mar­ried first to a s/m/sgt. thu his career in the mil­i­tary, can you give me any answers..thanks as i only draw 234.oo a month social security..melba gladhill

      1. You aren’t enti­tled to his pen­sion because you weren’t mar­ried dur­ing his time in ser­vice. If you were pre­vi­ously divorced from a sgt, depend­ing on the num­ber of in ser­vice years you were mar­ried, you could have been enti­tled to some­thing. If it’s not in the orig­i­nal decree from hus­band num­ber one you aren’t enti­tled to any­thing there either. Any other assets you guys have (banks, stocks, house etc) would be split in the divorce 50/50 more than likely but only a lawyer can tell you for sure.

      2. There is no longer any­thing after his death as her ex hus­band cashed in his ONLY life insur­ance pol­icy and paid off her car and gave her the remain­der of the money.…what else is there. This woman has more than $234 per month.…she took in excess of $40k while he was in the hos­pi­tal after his stroke. Not such an inno­cent lit­tle old woman.

    2. I am in a sim­i­lar situation.

      my ex-husband & I were divrced about 28 years ago. At that time you had to divorced 20 years to get any of his retir­ment pay. At that time I worked but­sur­vived with­out it. Now I am almost 66 and have many health issues.



  5. Hi.
    I have a big ques­tion. I am a retired navy senior chief. I was not mar­ried at the time of my retire­ment. My wife and I got mar­ried 5 years ago and we want to pro­tect her in case I pass on. We want to enroll her in the sur­vivors ben­e­fit plan. Is there any­thing we can do? They told me about open sea­son. If you could please let me know.
    Thank you

  6. Steve — I have good news for you! Yes, you can cover your spouse with SBP — as long as apply for cov­er­age within the first year of mar­riage. I’ve writ­ten on this topic sev­eral times, so you can read more under the “divorce” sec­tion of this col­umn.
    Also, here is what DFAS (http://​www​.dfas​.mil/​r​a​p​a​y​/​r​a​f​a​q​s​/​s​b​p​f​a​q​s​.​h​tml) says on the topic:
    I wasn’t mar­ried when I retired, so I did not make an elec­tion under SBP. If I get mar­ried after retire­ment, may I elect cov­er­age for my spouse under SBP?
    Yes. You may elect SBP cov­er­age for the first spouse you marry after retire­ment. How­ever, you must elect the cov­er­age before the first anniver­sary of your mar­riage. Send a let­ter to DFAS (or use DD Form 2656–6) request­ing SBP cov­er­age for your spouse, and pro­vide your spouse’s name, social secu­rity num­ber, date of birth and a copy of the mar­riage cer­tifi­cate.
    Answer in ref­er­ence to this ques­tion: Hi. I have a big ques­tion. I am a retired navy senior chief. I was not mar­ried at the time of my retire­ment. My wife and I got mar­ried 5 years ago and we want to pro­tect her in case I pass on. We want to enroll her in the sur­vivors ben­e­fit plan. Is there any­thing we can do? They told me about open sea­son. If you could please let me know.
    Thank you,

  7. If I’m dis­abled and awarded 50% dis­abil­ity and my ex-spouse is receiv­ing a por­tion of my retired pay, does her por­tion stop or is it reduced?

    1. 50% of your dis­posi­bls pay — menaing whats left over after your dis­abil­ity comes out.

      1. that is not true any more. The dis­abil­ity is paid sep­a­rte and does not affect the ex spouse money.

      2. That has changed here is the new law

        Qual­i­fied dis­abled mil­i­tary retirees will now get paid both their full mil­i­tary retire­ment pay and their VA dis­abil­ity com­pen­sa­tion. This recently passed law phases out (over 9 years) the VA dis­abil­ity off­set, which means that mil­i­tary retirees with 20 or more years of ser­vice and a 50% (or higher) VA rated dis­abil­ity will no longer have their mil­i­tary retire­ment pay reduced by the amount of their VA dis­abil­ity compensation

  8. great web­site

  9. I’m a divorcee of a Air Force active duty retiree and my decree states 25 % upon retire­ment for my portion.We were mar­ried for 19 years. I would like to know the for­mula to fig­ure my por­tion. He retired in August 2010. I have yet to get any checks from the gov­ern­ment. He keeps writ­ing per­sonal checks and I’m not sure the amount is cor­rect. Also I would like to know how to get my por­tion 0f his retire­ment in the form of gov­ern­ment checks instead of him writ­ing per­sonal checks to me. Thank you.

  10. I just got divorce and my ex wife is get­ting 7% of my retire­ment, I served 26 years in the mil­i­tary, I sac­ri­fice long and hard for that retire­ment, my ex nearly destroyed my career by writ­ing bad checks and the NCO club, she had a gam­bling prob­lem, if it wasn’t for the Reg­i­men­tal com­man­der stick­ing up for me. I would have been dis­charged. Now how can it be that some­one like that is get­ting any por­tion of my retire­ment. It is not write and it’s a total slap in the face to all that have served and sac­ri­ficed for our coun­try, this law should be repealed.

    1. how long were you mar­ried to your wife, if more than 5/6 years and she made PCS moves with you.….what kind of mil­i­tary solider and hus­band were you! She also made sacrifices.….…It’s the choice you made mak­ing her you spouse. She needs help and it sounds like you do also.….

    2. If you think that’s bad imag­ine 50% of your retire­ment check like most states. My ques­tion is if you were mar­ried to one woman for 10 years and then to another woman for another 10 years and get a divorce, what’s the point of retir­ing in the first place when you wont get crap for all the years of ser­vice! This is an even greater rea­son to not work and col­lect an income for life espe­cially to women who don’t give a rats butt about the mil­i­tary career because I’m pretty sure they love to threaten you about call­ing the First Sergeants or commanders.

      What doesn’t make sense even more is that the spouse should get 50% if they were present and mar­ried for the entire 20 years. If it’s 10 years it only be 25% (half of their orig­i­nal half if they sucked it up for the entire 20 years). Trust me, I feel your pain because when you retire you can’t even afford to main­tain a fam­ily house­hold (2nd fam­ily) becase all the funds go to to the ex and child support.

    3. The ben­e­fits were also for your fam­ily who sac­ri­ficed sup­port­ing you. . Your wife likely sup­ported you in your mil­i­tary career, which cre­ates hard­ships for the spouse.

  11. Can some­one please guide me with a phone # to find out info about an ex spouse (the first wife) of a retired mil­i­tary per­son. I know there re ben­e­fits
    that are there for me being the first wife. I would appre­ci­ate any info or phone #
    thank you

    1. depends on how long and when you guys were married.

    2. please pass on this answer to me

    3. In order to be enti­tled to any of his retire­ment you must be mar­ried 10 years. It is the same mea­sure­ment that social secu­rity uses.

      1. Oh and you are COMPLETELY wrong in this. It’s up to the states, 10 yr mark is only to be paid directly through the mil­i­tary. A judge can award retire­ment for any length of mar­riage but any award for under 10 years has to be paid by the mil­i­tary mem­ber directly instead of through DEFAS.

  12. mar­ried in Sept 1977 he joined ser­vice in 1979 we divorced in dec 1990, i remar­ried now divorced and recieve social secu­rity dis­ablity 49 yrs old , what an i inti­tle too. he remar­ried divorced then and remar­ried. I was the 1st wife. help? who can i call to find out what i can get, he wont tell me.

    1. Quit being a leach and get a job!

      1. Shame on you!

      2. woo hoo!

    2. You want his money then marry him again

    3. hello, if it was not in your divorce decree to receive SBP you will not be eli­gi­ble. Also he may have stopped pay­ing the pre­mi­ums when you divorced. The elec­tion to change spouse cov­er­age to for­mer spouse cov­er­age should have been done within the year of your divorce to him. This is a deci­sion that you both would have had to make because once you are divorced you are not auto­mat­i­cally enrolled to receive ben­e­fits. Now that he has remar­ried, it will all depend on which of you spouses will receive ben­e­fits that he has cho­sen. Check under uni­formed mil­i­tary for­mer spouse ben­e­fit cov­er­age for more infor­ma­tion.
      I know it may not be the answer but mil­i­tary mem­bers are pro­tected too.
      hope this helps

  13. My hus­band was in the Army for 22 years and I have sur­vivor ben­e­fits. We have been mar­ried for 35 years. In the event of divorce or remar­riage on my part, will I still receive my sur­vivor ben­e­fits I am 68 years old. Thank you

    1. If you were mar­ried for 20 and he was active duty for 20 and they over lap you get to keep every­thing. As it is since you are over 55 years should you get a divorce and keep the SBP you get to keep that sur­vivor is only if you are still mar­ried when he kicks the bucket. As far as I have been able to find out.

    2. hello, in order to be eli­gi­ble for SBP you must be a widow at the time in order to receive sur­vivors ben­e­fit and also been mar­ried at the time he enrolled in the plan. if you divorce, you will not auto­mat­i­cally be eli­gi­ble to receive the ben­e­fits. there are many rules con­cern­ing this, if he does elect you to receive ben­e­fits he will have to change the SBA to for­mer spouse cov­er­age. Be care­ful too because the elec­tion must be made within 1yr after the divorce. You will need to check with DFAS regard­ing this. Now if he does elect for­mer spouse cov­er­age you will still receive ben­e­fits if you are over 55 and mar­ried. This too you would need an attor­ney who knows mil­i­tary laws con­cern­ing this. hope you two will stay together for life.

  14. then you get to pay the taxes on the money as well…lol. apply to cleve­land — they will send you your chekcs. you need ot pro­vide them with a court order though.

  15. I have lived alone for nine years now and my soon to be ex has not done crap to sup­port me. The kids, yes but that is being part of being a mother and I would have traded her places any­time! Now she will get part of my retire­ment for the rest of her life? Are you kid­ding me.…Even if she remarries…What kind of hook job is that? Some one needs to rethink that law and go on a case by case basis!

  16. I’m a divorce depen­dent i have been divorced since 1977. I would like to have taxes with­eld on what i received i;ve been look­ing a long time to know how to con­tact you on this matter

    1. you need to go irs​.gov and look at the armed forces and taxes. type in mil­i­tary for­mer spousal ben­e­fits tax­able. this will take you to chap­ter 3. also look at these irs pub­li­ca­tions: 505, 525 and 559. if you still can­not find the answer con­tact irs because they only deal with fed­eral and you would need to con­tact the state regard­ing taxes. hope this helps

  17. AFTER 10 YEAR MARRIAGE WHAT KIND OF % ex spouse will gets, and what kind of ben­e­fits she will gets.

    1. hello, if this is mil­i­tary related, it should have been included in the divorce decree and even with that the mil­i­tary does not allow the courts to rate the % this is up to the mil­i­tary. you will need to look at mil­i­tary divorce law for more infor­ma­tion. now if this is regard­ing ssa ben­e­fits alone, it is all based on the earned income but you need to go to ssa​.gov for more infor­ma­tion. hope this helps

    2. I was mar­ried 21 years, 18 years of active duty. Even tho we were together all of his 23 years of mil­i­tary ser­vice I only got 39% of retire­ment pay.
      So the magic num­ber of 10 years for 50% of retire­ment pay is not correct.

      1. If you were mar­ried 20+ years and on active duty a match­ing 20+ years then the spouse is enti­tled to 50% of avail­able retire­ment. That is, after any dis­abil­ity, up to 50% dis­abled, is deducted.

  18. My hus­band wants to remove his first wife off the SBP and add me. What does he need to do in order to do this. Also, a por­tion of his retire­ment she is enti­tled to ends when their youngest child turns 18 so she will no longer be receiv­ing a por­tion of his retirement.

    1. Unless the for­mer spouse agrees in writ­ing to stop SBP cov­er­age, there can be no cov­er­age for the present wife. Also, I would not count on retire­ment owed to his for­mer wife to end unless she remar­ries before age 55. His child’s age has noth­ing to do with the retire­ment the for­mer spouse earned dur­ing her mar­riage to your hus­band. Your hus­band should be well aware of this.

  19. My hus­band of 59 years divorced me a year ago. He was in the Air Force 4 years
    and got out. He is dis­abled with a non ser­vice dis­ease and draws a pen­sion. I took care of him for 20 years.I have not remar­ried. Are there any ben­e­fits for me
    after death?

    1. mar­ried 33 years to ret. mil­i­tary man, he was dis­abled with heart trou­ble and a type of inher­ited paralysis,he is now divorc­ing me after a stroke and his chil­dren con­vinced him i deserved nouthing, will i be enti­tled to any ben­e­fits at his death

    2. hello the rule for for­mer spouses are you would have to be mar­ried for at least 10 years or more as long as he was active duty. With dis­abil­ity from
      VA you will not be able to touch that. But if he is receiv­ing social secu­rity dis­abil­ity ben­e­fits and he dies, yes you may be able to draw from that. You need to go to ssa​.gov for more infor­ma­tion regard­ing this issue. hope this helps

  20. Hello,

    Yes you should have benefits.

    Fed­eral law grant state courts the right to divide mil­i­tary ben­e­fits as long as cer­tain con­di­tions are met. So depend­ing on how long he was in the mil­i­tary and the specifics will deter­mine what you can receive.

    I’m unclear if you mean he was in for 4 years or if you mean he was in the Air Force 4 (mean­ing the word “for”) years. Sim­ply ask­ing how many years was he in the Air Force?

    I hope this helps and if you have any ques­tions on this be sure to google this and you will find a good bit about it. Or, just write back :)



    1. Hi,

      I was won­der­ing what site should I go to research this. Me and my hus­band who is active for 2 months and his a reservist and weve been sep­a­rated for domes­tic since June 7, 2013 this year and since that time to present his hasnt not sup­port not even any pen­nie at all. I have to talk to many offi­cers even his com­man­der and aco­ord­ing to him theres not­ing he can do the only advice he can give me is they need sup­port­ing doc­u­ment from the court. Do you know what site I can reser­ach to find out how can I get support.

      Thank you

  21. MY wife and I have been mar­ried for over 5 yrs. She had a mil­i­tary id card from ex. who served 20 yrs in mil­i­tary. Her Id was taken from her when she remar­ried. Is she enti­tled to keep her ID card. What can she do.

    1. No, once she remar­ried she lost her ben­nies to Tri­care etc.

  22. My mother was mar­ried to my father for 13 years. He retired out of the mil­i­tary in the late 70’s. He remar­ried in the mid 80’s. Unfor­tu­nately, my father passed way June 23, 2011. How would my mother know if she was enti­tled to his retire­ment ben­e­fits since he is now deceased. I know she can get his SSN but I would like to inform my step­mother as to what she may need to do as well. Also, could you please lead me in the right direc­tion as to where I can obtain this infor­ma­tion? Thanks!

  23. TMRoberts — I’m sorry to hear your father’s pass­ing. If your mom is enti­tled to any retire­ment ben­e­fits, it would have been stated in their divorce decree. Regard­ing Social Secu­rity, since your par­ents were mar­ried in excess of 10 years your mom can check into whether half of his ben­e­fit exceeds her own ben­e­fit. My advice is to make an appoint­ment with the local Social Secu­rity office and work through the details.

  24. hi My x hus­band is cur­rently draw­ing Va dis­abil­ity, He is remar­ried. and mar­ried three times after me.
    I am dis­abled­now and draw my own social secu­rity I am age 55 and was mar­ried to him almost 10 years we had two chil­dren together in which case one was hand­i­capped now grown and bet­ter. Can I draw a por­tion of his dis­abil­ity from VA?and if so How do I get started?

    1. Nope, dis­abil­ity is his and his alone. If the kids are grown and you didn’t get alimony in writ­ing in the decree you won’t see a dime. The only time dis­abil­ity pay is taken into account is for child sup­port. And hon­estly what makes you think you are enti­tled to pay he gets for being dis­abled by the military…were you the one doing his job when he got injured? This “what can I get for sim­ply being mar­ried to a mil­i­tary man” atti­tude that is all over these forums is DISGUSTING.

      1. I agree it is very disgusting!!!

    2. hello, his va dis­abil­ity can­not be awared because it only applies to him no mat­ter how many times he remar­ries. it is gov­ern­ment pro­tected. now that you are draw­ing your own this is your only enti­tle­ment. see va​.gov for more ques­tions. hope this helps

    3. You can­not touch any dis­abil­ity pay­ments he is the one dis­abled. What if he came to you and said i want some of your dis­abil­ity? Thats what I thought.

    4. You should con­tact the VA, but more than likely the answer will most likely be no. VA dis­abil­ity com­pen­sa­tion can be gar­nished if he is behind in child sup­port or alimony. You can also apply for an appor­tion­ment of his ben­e­fit depend­ing on the cir​cum​stances​.To the nasty remarks made made by all replies besides Jeff, VA dis­abil­ity is always con­sid­ered income and can DEFINITELY be touched if cer­tain con­di­tions are met. You should know the facts before you spout off so unkindly.

  25. Hi I am research­ing for my mom. She mar­ried my dad in ’61 they got divorced in ’79. She had no lawyer no one to help her out. He did not pay alimony or child sup­port and she still had 3 kids at home. there was noth­ing in the divorce degree about retire­ment ben­e­fits she might be able to get. She knew noth­ing about stuff like this. Is she able to get part of his retire­ment now

  26. I am the 2nd wife.we have been mar­ried 15 years​.My hus­band was mar­ried 43 years the 1st time​.At his death,can I receive any of his mil­i­tary pay? In his divorce the 1st wife already gets a por­tion of this pay.

    1. Bar­bara, I think I’m right on this. When a mil­i­tary mem­ber dies, and has not opted for the Sur­vivor Ben­e­fit Pro­gram, retire­ment pay stops. You are eli­gi­ble for Social Secu­rity and health ben­e­fits, com­mis­sary, ID card, etc. I’m sorry your hus­band never dis­cussed this with you but many mem­bers don’t know their enti­tle­ments. You need to con­tact your near­est Base and the Per­son­nel Sec­tion should direct you to the right department.

  27. What I would really like to know is, if there is a way that a dis­abled child of a mil­i­tary vet can get an ID Card with out his per­mis­sion? He Started the divorce pro­ceed­ings I just went along with it as I was tired of being abused by him. Tired of his cheat­ing on me. I do not want him back and after he sex­u­ally abused the child the child doesn’t want any­thing to do with him. Doesn’t want to even look at him. What can I do to help my Child?

    1. you will need to incor­po­rate the con­tin­ued ben­e­fits for your child dur­ing the divorce pro­ceed­ings. also you may want to con­tact DEERS for more infor­ma­tion regard­ing what rights you have for your child regard­ing the mil­i­tary id after a divorce. make sure you have an attor­ney who is knowl­edge­able in mil­i­tary laws.

    2. This is dis­turb­ing to me, why didnt you call the author­i­ties if you knew this was going on? This sounds fishy to me, if he was such a bas­tard why didnt you call the cops? So your as much at fault for let­ting this abuse happen.

  28. If he was put out of the mil­i­tary because of abuse you may get a check for over a grand and your daugh­ter also. Also when he retires you may get a por­tion, and he has to pay child sup­port. DFAS 411 is 888–332-7411

  29. this is the sec­ond let­ter i wrote about my ex-husband who is now deceased.thi mil­i­tary refuses to pay me his retire­ment money,neither of us ever remarried.where is his retire­ment money going,if not to his family,like i said this is miney he earned for his coun­try and his fam­ily and now we have sen none of his rerire­ment or only 150.
    00 a month of social secu​rity​.do i need to get a attor­ney involved with this?his retire­ment money defi­nantly needs to go to his family.he earned it.i was told it would go back to the military.why?its his money he earned.why should the militery take back his retirement?and fur­ther more his social security.please help me with this,i am very aggra­vated and confused.sincerely.wilma l. burcham

    1. Social Secu­rity pro­vides retire­ment ben­e­fits to an ex-spouse whose mar­riage lasted 10 years or more, whether the ex-husband is liv­ing or deceased. An ex-wife can apply for retire­ment ben­e­fits based on the ex-husband’s work his­tory once he reaches retire­ment age and qual­i­fies for ben­e­fits. You must be divorced two years or he must be deceased if he has not filed for his Social Secu­rity retire­ment. You must also be at least age 62 and unmar­ried to col­lect early retire­ment and you must be full retire­ment age to col­lect 50 per­cent of an ex-spouse’s Social Secu­rity ben­e­fits.
      This 1 of 3 com­ments for you.

    2. #2When your hus­band or ex-husband dies, it’s impor­tant to file for ben­e­fits as soon as pos­si­ble, even if you are not sure that you qual­ify to receive them. You will need cer­tain doc­u­ments. Those that are in your pos­ses­sion now can be placed in a sep­a­rate file so that you have access to them imme­di­ately upon your husband’s death. You will need his Social Secu­rity num­ber, copies of your mar­riage and divorce cer­tifi­cates and the gov­ern­ment life insur­ance pol­icy, if one was issued to you. In addi­tion, if your hus­band has died, you must present the death cer­tifi­cate. An ex-wife can receive ben­e­fits if her hus­band is deceased and she is age 60 or 50 and dis­abled, the mar­riage lasted 10 years, and her indi­vid­ual enti­tle­ments are less than the ben­e­fits she would receive under his work record.

    3. #3
      The Uni­formed Ser­vices For­mer Spouse’s Pro­tec­tion Act enti­tles for­mer spouses of mil­i­tary ser­vice mem­bers to a por­tion of their ex-spouse’s mil­i­tary retire­ment pay or pen­sion. It also depends on the length of mar­riage prior to divorce. The por­tion to the enti­tle­ment depends on the laws of the state in which you file for your divorce or as deter­mined by the Defense Finance and Account­ing Ser­vice. you will need to do this on your own or with an attor­ney is knowl­edge­able in mil­i­tary laws.

      Hope this helps

    4. There are vari­ables miss­ing. how long were you mar­ried? Just because he recieved a pen­sion does not mean you are enti­tled to it. SBP will dic­tate if you are owed any money. Once the Sol­dier dies his retire­ment dies unless he has sur­vival ben­e­fits in place.

  30. How can i obtain a birth cer­tifi­cate for my son who was born in Ft. Polk, La in 1980?

    1. A birth cer­tifi­cate includes infor­ma­tion about the birth of an infant. It includes the mother’s maiden name and father’s name, along with var­i­ous infor­ma­tion such as the baby’s name, date of birth and the county or hos­pi­tal where the child was born. Depend­ing on the state or county, it might also list the par­ents’ addresses, occu­pa­tions or races. A birth cer­tifi­cate is needed to prove who you are in order to obtain a mar­riage cer­tifi­cate, pass­port or a driver’s license. You will need to con­tact clerk of courts vital records in that state.
      hope this helps

  31. If my ex-wife, who is get­ting 1/2 of my retire­ment pay dies, does that money than revert back to me??

  32. I would like to know if SBP will ever have another “open enroll­ment period”, from what I under­stand they did have it one time before?

  33. So who and how does DFAS check to make sure the Ex spouse is in fact still alive to receive there part of our retire­ment?? I have very seri­ous thought that my ex has her, not by me, son on the account her por­tion goes too and that she has told him in the event of her death to leave the account open as the money she was get­ting will still flow into the account as long as I am alive.. I just won­der how DFAS checks on the recip­i­ents to make sure they are still alive and what hap­pens if DFAS dis­cov­ers that a recip­i­ent has been deceased for 2, 3 or more years. What hap­pens and will I get my money back and if so how long will it take?? I say all this because my ex is 8+ years older than me, smokes like a chim­ney and has a poor fam­ily med­ical history.

  34. My hus­band is a dis­abled, retired vet­eran. His ex-wife was awarded his retire­ment in their divorce. I am bat­tling a life threat­en­ing dis­ease and it is our under­stand­ing that there will be noth­ing left for me to take care of me in the event he passes away before I do. Is this correct?

    Is there any way to get this changed so I am eli­gi­ble for a por­tion of his retirement?

    I should men­tion his ex-wife is retired mil­i­tary and she out ranks him but he is not get­ting her retire­ment. Is there any way to go after her retire­ment for him? They were mar­ried 8 years.

    We need help! No one has been able to give us any answers to our questions.


    1. I dont think his ex could have been awarded more than 25% of his retire­ment. I know in some states the only way a spouse can get a full 50% is if they were mar­ried for a full 20 years of the ser­vice mem­bers career.. In your case them only being mar­ried for 8 years I would sus­pect she is only get­ting 25%. As for you get­ting any­thing if he passes first, unless he has Sur­vivor Ben­e­fit plan and listed you then if he passes before you there will be noth­ing for you. It sucks but its the way it is.


  36. My hus­band is an E5 in Afghanistan, in for 12 years now,we are mar­ried and he spends all his pay, doesnt he have to send me sup­port? if so how much and how do i go about find­ing this out and enforc­ing it?

    1. Get a Job.

    2. He is oblig­ated to pro­vide sup­port for his fam­ily. Con­tact his First Sgt at your husband’s instal­la­tion where he is nor­mally stationed.

  37. My hus­band has become a dif­fer­ent man now that he’s a part of the mil­i­tary. It’s good that I’m a worka­holic and in man­age­ment as I pay every­thing while he spends all that he makes. I’m hav­ing dif­fi­culty cov­er­ing the bills we have as I assumed that he would be con­tribut­ing to the bills we incurred together. Does the mil­i­tary con­sider and have poli­cies regard­ing abandonment?Thank you, I’m not sure what to do…

    1. Its sim­ple.. DIVORCE him.. I mean if he is not liv­ing with you and gives you noth­ing then sim­ply divorce him… though I would like to think you have talked to him and told him how you feel… If you have and he isnt doing any­thing to help change the sit­u­a­tion divorce

  38. I receive retire­ment from my ex-husbamd as I was mar­ried to him 20 years he was in the ser­vice. We divorced at the 20 year point. Was mar­ried 23 years. 20 of it mil­i­tary. Should he die do I con­tinue to get the retire­ment? I don’t know if he has SBP. I do know he has life insurance.

    1. The only way you would con­tinue to receive pay­ments is if it is in your orig­i­nal divorce decree that you retain the rights to SBP. If it’s not then no, you can­not con­tinue to leach off your ex after his death. He in no way shape and/or form is required to make you the ben­e­fi­ciary of his life insur­ance pol­icy unless so ordered in the orig­i­nal divorce decree.

  39. My new hus­band is 70% diss­abled he is retired after 24years in Air Forc and is reciev­ing his full retire­ment and dis­si­bil­ity. As soon as he is 100% diss­abled will they cut his retirement .

  40. How do I get a waiver to the 20–20-20 rule for retire ID Card enti­tle­ment? My ex-wife is an Ita­lain national and she recieves 50% of my retire­ment pay. The issue is that under the 20–20-20 rule, we fall short by 1.5 months for being mar­ried together while I was in the mil­i­tary. How do I get a waiver for her to keep her retired ID card after it expires? Note that I served 24 yrs in the mil­i­tary, but had to leave because of RCP for my grade. We were mar­ried a total of 28 years, but only 19 yrs and 11 months before I retired from the military.

  41. Hi my hus­band was mar­ried to another woman before me when he was sta­tioned in Ger­many. She is a Ger­man cit­i­zen works and receives money from the Ger­man state. She was abu­sive and vio­lent through­out their entire mar­riage. They have a child together who lives in Ger­many. They were mar­ried on paper for 4 years but sep­a­rated after 2. There is no men­tion in the divorce decree as to retire­ment pay. She is threat­en­ing to go to court to get more money from us. How much could she get and can she do this?

  42. My ex and I were mar­ried for 14 years, we divorced a year after I retired from the mil­i­tary. Dur­ing the divorce process we filled out all the paper­work together at the lawyers office. The attor­ney asked specif­i­cally about any retire­ment funds/portfolios (which is what I’m told retire­ment pay is con­sid­ered) and nei­ther of us said a word-to be hon­est I didn’t know that was what retire­ment pay was con­sid­ered at the time-years have past now and she moved back to live w/ her mom now she sud­denly has aquired a lawyer that says she’s enti­tled to half the money.
    Is this legit??

    1. it will be very hard for her to lay claim to it 3 years post divorce. She will prob­a­bly claim igno­rance that she wasn’t told she could be enti­tled to it but you know what that’s HER fault and HER LAWYERS fault for not going over it at the time of the divorce. Hire a damn good lawyer to fight her because there is a slim chance you’ll find a crazy judge that might award it to her

  43. I was mar­ried 21 years, 18 years of active duty. Even tho we were together all of his 23 years of mil­i­tary ser­vice I only got 39% of retire­ment pay.
    So the magic num­ber of 10 years for 50% of retire­ment pay is not correct.

  44. I got mar­ried to my hus­band 4 years after he joined the mil­i­tary. He retired at 20 years. We just got our divorce as of today after almost 16 years of mar­riage. We have 2 chil­dren together,which I have 1 of and he has the other child. Do I get to keep my ID card now that the divorce is finalized?

    1. Tracy, I just read some­thing about it hav­ing to be 20 con­sec­u­tive years. I had to give mine back after 14 yrs married.

  45. What if you’re still mar­ried and your hus­band is draw­ing a pen­sion and he tells you if he dies the pen­sion is cut off. Is that true?

  46. HI. So the ex gets a por­tion of the mil­i­tary retire­ment for life? At best it seems to me they should only get retire­ment for the time their spouse was in ser­vice. exam­ple if some­one served 20 years then why should the ex get retire­ment after 20 years of being paid for it.. they didnt work for it.

  47. My exwife gets 32% of my mil­i­tary retirement..by court order..We got divorced after 13 years in Army..does she get 32% of date of the divorce(E7 with 13 years) or 32% of when I retire?

  48. I was divorced by my ex-wife after 27 years of mar­riage. i was in the US Air Force for 22 years.
    she now con­tin­ued to carry my last name and of course she is receiv­ing 50
    % of my retire­ment pay. she’s now shel­ter­ing, feed­ing, and etc her boyfriend. i am not sour with our divorce, but i just ques­tion where is the jus­tice of her receiv­ing the 50% of my retire­ment to feed and shel­ter her boyfriend, while I am the one sup­port­ing our son.

  49. I know you have heard this a thou­sand times over but the per­son that gets screwed with this act is the retired mil­i­tary mem­ber, after I retired my wife and I divorced I came home from work one night and my ex-wife had packed up every­thing and moved I was left with noth­ing, she is since retired from the exchange ser­vice draw­ing a pen­sion from there and draw­ing social secu­rity and receiv­ing 45% of my retired pay, she is clearly receiv­ing more money than I am, she lives in Cal­i­for­nia liv­ing in a 3 bed­room 2 car garage pay­ing over $1000.00 month rent trav­el­ing liv­ing good, me on the other hand after the divorce I had to file for bank­ruptcy and I am on social secu­rity now myself my credit is shot and it is really hard, every time I think about her and how the sys­tem and the mil­i­tary screwed me after all my years of ser­vice I get really angry, I don’t want to hate but I really hate that woman, I am remar­ried now my cur­rent wife is about to also go on social secu­rity we help each other, we live from day to day penny pinch­ing, my mem­o­ries of the mil­i­tary I have none, well I know you can’t do any­thing I am just screwed


    1. Yes she can sue him for the 6 months of back pay if it’s in the divorce decree…and she’ll win so it’s not really worth fight­ing save your­self the lawyers fees and just pay her (as sad as that fact is and make sure to keep ALL records). The rest of the ben­e­fits etc will depend on the num­ber of years they were mar­ried while he was active duty.


  52. My hus­band was is the Air Force for 20 years and retired. We have been mar­ried for 10 years, almost 11. His first wife gets part of his retire­ment. Now he wants a divorce from me. Can I also get some of his retire­ment? He also gets dis­abil­ity pay­ments and a cost of liv­ing pay­ment since he is going back to school. Am I enti­tled to anything?Thanks.

    1. If you mar­ried him after he retired, no you aren’t “enti­tled” to any­thing. If you were mar­ried while he was on active duty it would be based on the num­ber of active duty years you were mar­ried, minus his pay­ments to his for­mer wife and his total out­go­ing can­not exceed 50% of his pay­ment so if the first wife is already get­ting 50% you won’t get any­thing. Dis­abil­ity pay­ments are pro­tected by fed­eral law so they can never be used in cal­cu­la­tions for any­thing besides child support

  53. My Ex-Husband is pay­ing child sup­port but he was com­plain­ing that it was to much money com­ing out of his pocket. Now he’s join­ing the Marines would it affect my child sup­port ser­vices? please help

    1. Yea, it means he can actu­ally pay you child sup­port now.

  54. my mother and father were mar­ried 27 of the 30 years he was in the mil­i­tary and they divorced in 1978.….she has been stug­gling ever since. She receives medical/dental and id card ben­e­fits but no money what­so­ever, is she enti­tled to anything?????

  55. I was mar­ried for 10 years and most of those years he was active mil­i­tary. We divorced in 1981. He retired from the Army in 2001. I am sure it was not in the divorce decree about retire­ment ben­e­fits for me. Is there any thing I can do to get the per­cent­age I believe due me?

    1. You are due noth­ing. The man did 20 years of ser­vice AFTER he was done with you. If it wasn’t in the ORIGINAL divorce decree then no, legally there is noth­ing you can do to steal his retire­ment. If you feel it is “due to you” why didn’t you take the steps to try and attain this 30 years ago

      1. 30 years ago I didn’t even think of retire­ment for him or me when I divorced his cheating.……Like alot of mil­i­tary wives, I was young, never lived away from home and didn’t real­ize I had rights too. I didn’t even have a lawyer. please keep your opin­ion­ated com­ments to your­self. They are of no use to me or any­one else that is seri­ous about look­ing for answers on this site.

        1. Thank you. I was hop­ing some­one would tell that nean­derthal to take a hike. He has no idea about any­thing that may have been done by any­one but him. Some think way too much of them­selves.
          I hope you got your answer by now. If not, con­tact DFAS and ask the ques­tions. My retired mil­i­tary hus­band and I were just talk­ing about how many women put up with so much for so many years and were left with noth­ing when their hus­bands retired and decided they wanted to start over so tossed them aside. Both of our fathers retired from the USMC and it is not an easy life. BTW Guest, his ex gets a part of his retire­ment and nei­ther of us begrudge her that share for hav­ing moved when he moved, sat at home when he was deployed (a lot), took jobs that could not be careers because they moved too often, missed time with her fam­ily and friends fol­low­ing him around all those years because she put him and his choice of Mil­i­tary ser­vice first…

  56. I’ve been mar­ried to a retired navy man who served in viet-nam, and later desert storm, they gave him 6 month to 1year to live ‚does his ex wife get the pen­sion or do I?

  57. my fiances ex received retire­ment ben­e­fits in the divorce decree but she hasnt acted on any­thing yet and no paper­work has been filed on her part to claim or what­ever she has to do with the mil­i­tary. is there a time limit for her to lose out? i read some­where a year?

    1. There is no time limit, and if she does file the paper­work your hus­band can be required to pay her, in a lump sum with inter­est, all of the back pay that he was sup­posed to send her if she takes him to court. If they were mar­ried under 10 years the money won’t come directly out of his pay­check, he is respon­si­ble for cut­ting her a check and mail­ing it every month. If they were mar­ried 10 years or more DFAS will send her the monthly check. What you may be think­ing of is SBP. If it is not required in the divorce decree that he main­tain SBP on his for­mer wife, he will have one year from the date of your mar­riage to put you down as the ben­e­fi­ciary so that you can get 50% of his pen­sion when he dies. If he is required to main­tain SBP on the for­mer wife, you are SOL and get noth­ing in the event of his death unless she pre­de­ceases him and it is changed.

  58. my hus­band was md from the army with a full pen­sion, he recently died and i dont no if i am entil­tled to his pen­sion could you please advise.

    1. If you were pay­ing for SBP cov­er­age then you would get 50% of it. If you weren’t pay­ing for SBP cov­er­age then you wouldn’t get any­thing. Call the finance office on post.

  59. My friend is divorc­ing after 19 years and only 15 of that was active duty she can work but does not want to she just wants some­one to send her checks while she sits around. She left hime a cou­ple of years ago moved back for a while and left again they have been sep­a­rated 2 years now and he just retired 1/1/2013 how much of his retire­ment pay will she be enti­tled too? She says she wants it all.

    1. She can say she wants the moon, doesn’t mean she is going to get it. The most of his retire­ment that she can get is 50% and that dol­lar amount can be reduced based on his dis­abil­ity per­cent­age since it is not divis­i­ble in divorce by fed­eral law (make sure he hires a lawyer very fam­liar with mil­i­tary divorce since some local judges try to include it). She will also loose all health­care ben­e­fits for­ever past the one year of for pay Cobra coverage

  60. My hus­band is divorce and has to pay his ex30% of his retire­ment. They were mar­ried 20years. He also had to take SBP out for her. does she get every­thing if he was to pass? and what will I get? I was told he could not get SBP for her it has to con­tinue, it does not stop because he gets remar­ried. Also she is about to rem­marry. does she still get his retire­ment and 20/20/20 priv­i­lages? I was told if he pass all I get is the insur­ance and if he is retiree I get noth­ing. confused!

  61. Is there any way to recover your full retire­ment back from your ex-spouse? Does any­body know if going back to court would be an option?

    1. 1. It’s NOT YOUR RETIREMENT. 2. If you didn’t request it in the final divorce decree or were not awarded it before you signed the FINAL papers then there is noth­ing you can do. Going back to court will do noth­ing except waste you money.

  62. My ex-wife is receiv­ing part of my air force retirement.she has been treated for can­cer. in the event a ex-spouse passes from a desease what hap­pens to the money taken from the retired mil­i­tary mem­ber due to the stu­pid sur­vivor ben­e­fits pro­tec­tion act that was passed??

  63. We divorce after 29 yrs mar­riage. He been in the mil­i­tary for 23 yrs together and retire. He joint mil­i­tary 1977 and get out 1981. We get mar­ried 1982 and he joined back to Navy 1983 and retired 2002. We divorce 2011. Should I get 50% of his ritire­ment? Please help and still he doesnt want to give me his part of his ritire­ment and he said that he want to set­tle­ment to me just dont get his ritere­ment and the gov will mess up his retire­ment. I dis­agree what he said. Please need advise. thank you.

    1. If you divorced in 2011 it would be in the decree if you were to get retir­ment pay. If it’s not in the decree you missed your oppor­tu­nity to request it and he doesn’t have to pay you any­thing. Sadly with him only being active duty for 19 years while you were mar­ried you also aren’t eli­gi­ble for health care ben­e­fits. You should be eli­gi­ble for 20/20/15 ben­e­fits though

  64. I was mar­ried to my ex for 10 yrs for 2 1/2 of his 4 1/2 yr sevice time we divorced due to his men­tal problem.…..he filed ptsd and was awarded 100% disability.….he found out he had can­cer and mar­ried 37days before his death am I entiled to any ben­e­fits since I had to write a let­ter of his per­son­al­ity when he came back from over­seas before,after and dur­ing our mar­riage to the Va dur­ing his vie for disablity

  65. I was mar­ried in 1962 to my hus­band who was in the Marine Corp.He served 4 yrs. got out then re-inlisted in the Air Force for 4 yrs. We were mar­ried for almost 24 yrs.Divorced in 1986. I am the one who dealt with the sep­a­ra­tion due to him serv­ing in Desert Storm . I tried to keep the mar­riage together for my two daugh­ters but could not do so. I have never remar­ried & am now 73 strug­gling to live. I do draw his S.S. as he passed away in 2001. He remar­ried in 1988 . Would I be eli­gi­ble for any Vet­er­ans Ben­e­fits at all?

  66. I live in the state of Va. I was mar­ried to my hus­band for the dura­tion of his 20 years in the mil­i­tary and we divorced right after he retired. I get 50% of his pen­sion because of that. I do not know if he signed for SBP I will have to look at my divorce papers. Will I get this pen­sion if he pre deceases me? Will I get it if I get mar­ried? I am 54. Also, when I got a divorce many peo­ple said to me that I should stil be able to use the com­mis­sary ect. but it is hard to find any­one to answer these ques­tions for you. They are very will­ing to help if you are the retiree or active mil­i­tary per­son but I think that the mil­i­tary thinks all ex spouses are bad and they will not help you. My ex also told me that he wants me to have, and has signed for me to be the ben­e­fi­ciary of his life insur­ance but I bet the mil­i­tary will keep me from get­ting that some­how. As ex mil­i­tary spouses that were good wives and hus­bands and helped our spouses serve their coun­try we are treated as out­casts. I would love answers to these ques­tions or a resource to go to. Maybe all these years I could of been going to the base for gro­ceries or clothes ect. and my ex would want me to have that ben­e­fit if I was enti­tled to it I know.

  67. Lots of ques­tions! Here’s my best shot:
    1) If your ex pre­de­ceases you may receive a por­tion of his retire­ment if he has SBP cov­er­age and you, as a for­mer spouse, are the ben­e­fi­ciary. DFAS has to be noti­fied within a year of the divorce for this for­mer spouse cov­er­age to be effec­tive, oth­er­wise, regard­less of what divorce decree says, there’s no for­mer spouse cov­er­age. Call DFAS to find out where you stand: 888–332-7411.
    2)If you get mar­ried before age 55, you are not an eli­gi­ble ben­e­fi­ciary for SBP–remarriage after 55 does not impact SBP eli­gi­bil­ity. If you divorce or your new spouse passes away you would again be an eli­gi­ble SBP ben­e­fi­ciary.
    3)Since you pass the 20–20-20 test (20 years of mar­riage over­lap­ping 20 years of ser­vice that qual­i­fies towards retire­ment) you should have an ID Card and be eli­gi­ble for mil­i­tary ben­e­fits includ­ing facil­ity use and TRICARE. Remar­riage would sus­pend all ben­e­fits and per­ma­nently end eli­gi­b­li­ity for TRICARE. Visit DEERS (ID Card) site with Marriage/Divorce paper­work to address this.

    Here is a suc­cinct guide to mil­i­tary divorce/benefits: http://​www​.offutt​.af​.mil/​s​h​a​r​e​d​/​m​e​d​i​a​/​d​o​c​u​m​e​n​t​/AF

  68. I have a ques­tion, please, and des­per­ately need help in this asap. I have been divorced 8 years from a mil­i­tary sol­dier that I was mar­ried to for 26 years. In my divorce, I got awarded a monthly main­te­nance amount, and half his mil­i­tary pen­sion. I waived on the Survivor’s Ben­e­fits, ONLY because I was griev­ing our 14 year old son at the time of the end of the divorce, and he was push­ing me to sign the papers so he could bring back his Hon­duran girl­friend and adopt her 3 kids within the time he had left before return­ing tot he states, and I buck­led, stu­pidly, and signed off on that. Now, 3 days ago, he had my daugh­ter call me and tell me that he was being med­ically dis­charged from the mil­i­tary, and he no longer had to pay my monthly main­te­nance, OR half the mil­i­tary pen­sion. Is this true, and how do I go about find­ing out if I have any recourse in this? Surely they did not make a loop­hole that the sol­diers don’t have to pay court ordered instruc­tions, JUST because they’re med­ically dis­charged. He bought a RV and he and his fam­ily are now retir­ing in Texas. I can’t get much help from OPM, who I have called for two days, and will not return my calls, and think they only pro­tect the sol­dier. Help on this? Thank you.

  69. Would a non-US cit­i­zen who was mar­ried for 16 years to a US sol­dier be “enti­tled” to the same ben­e­fit as a US citizen.

  70. this post has two ques­tions…
    my ex-husband, a retired Sr. Chief, has been receiv­ing his full retire­ment pay since Feb 2012. We were mar­ried 17 years and I my eli­gi­ble per­cent­age of the retire­ment is 49%. Know­ing I couldn’t afford an attor­ney and given my state of mind at that time , my ex took advan­tage of this and wrote him­self what the divorce decree would state regard­ing his mil­i­tary ben­e­fits that I too could claim. Instead of get­ting the 49% I am eli­gi­ble to receive, he came up with a fixed amount. I signed the divorce decree against my bet­ter judge­ment. It turns out that the fixed dol­lar amount is only equal to 23% of his over­all retire­ment amount. I pro­vided more than 23% of the finan­cial sta­bil­ity when we were mar­ried. I car­ried us the first ten years mak­ing more than half the mar­i­tal finan­cial con­tri­bu­tions.
    QUESTION1: is there any way I can get that fixed dol­lar amount increased? I don’t want the 49%. I would be happy if I got around 38% but will set­tle for any amount greater than 25$%
    QUESTION 2 : how can I get back pay of my retire­ment por­tion that is cur­rently being deposited in my ex-husbands bank instead of being divided. . My ex is fully aware that he is get­ting my por­tion and refuses to for­ward my por­tion to me. He is not pro­vid­ing the nec­es­sary paper­work that is required for me to send into DFAS to get the monies deposited cor­rectly. Since DFAS has already paid my ex, it is not their respon­si­bil­ity to pay me the back pay. But can they pay me addi­tional to make up and thus shorten my ex’s monthly deposit until I am caught up to the amount I would have received had all the doc­u­ments been filed cor­rectly and promtly

  71. Tell me about it. That’s why you have to watch out for that 10 year mar­riage period. Get out at 19 because you’re only propably going to get maybe $300 of it due to ex-spouse and child sup­port. I know a lot of peo­ple who didn’t work dur­ing mar­riage and just kept on col­lect­ing the funds after the divorce. There was no rea­son to get a job when you can get paid doing nothing.

  72. I’ve been in the ser­vice for 22 years. I was mar­ried to my ex-spouse for 10 years and on the divorce decree she will be col­lect­ing 50% of my retire­ment pen­sion. I’m pend­ing divorce now and is assum­ing she will col­lect my other 50% of the pen­sion which leaves me with almost noth­ing. Is this an accu­rate guess? If so, what is the point of work­ing all these years when it’s not really yours to begin with the minute you get mar­ried. It just feels really crazy. WOW…

    Has any­one ever dis­puted the pen­sion sec­tion of the divorce decree years after the fact (12 years after the 1st divorce)?

  73. My hus­band and I are not divorce, we have been sep for about 20 years. He is now receiv­ing his pen­sion, I am dis­able much to his abuse. My rea­son for not get­ting a divorce, I need the health ben­e­fits that I do receive. Am I enti­tle to some of his pen­sion now?

  74. I just learned that my ex hus­band was awarded a large sum because of pre­scrib­ing wrong med­ica­tion and med­ical treat­ment.. We were mar­ried for forty three years and this treat­ment was made dur­ing our mar­riage. He is now deceased. Am I enti­tled to any of this awarded money or does it go to his sec­ond wife?

  75. I am a retired Navy Vet­eran. I got mar­ried after my retire­ment and was mar­ried for 16 yrs before she asked me for a divorce. She walked out of our home because she was not happy. Ok so now I am get­ting ready to set up child sup­port from my pen­sion. Her lawyer wants to know if I passed away, would her child sup­port stop, get reduced, etc. That money is for my daugh­ter and so I don’t think it should get affected would it? She was issued a depen­dent ID after we got mar­ried. Do I have to can­cel that depen­dent ID after our divorce? Liv­ing in Texas.

  76. I was mar­ried to my ex hus­band from 1972 to 1985 He was in the Air Force the entire time. He remar­ried in 1985 and I remar­ried in 1988. I am now divorced. He is still mar­ried to his 2nd wife. I don’t want to take away from him or his wife but I just found out about this and want to see if I am eligible.

  77. I have been divorced 2 years now, but was mar­ried for 23 years to a U.S.A.F. man who retired back in 2003 .… I never got any of his mil­i­tary pen­sion at the time — is it too late to get any of it now ??

  78. If a Air force wife who retired after 20 years,Still kept my ben­e­fit if I get mar­ried 2 years after his death?

  79. My dau was mar­ried to a guy in the air force for 12 1/2 yrs. The first half of his career so she lived the poor life with him. He made a plan to get rid of her because she could never have a child so divorced her and remar­ried the day after divorce was final. He did his own do-it=yourself divorce. She was very con­trolled and when this hap­pened she was dev­as­tated and in denial. Her emo­tional being was just way off. It took a long long time for her to get over his dump­ing her She has never had a home since then and has had to live with other peo­ple, now 13 yrs. later she finds her­self in dire straights. My ques­tion is this, back at the start of all this he pre­sented her with a paper to sign whereby she agreed to waive her Rights for any part of his retire­ment pay. It was notor­ized. She was com­pletely depen­dent on him and he bossed her around, stayed at home where he wanted her to so had no job skills, had no self esteem, and never did get preg­nant, so he coerced her into believ­ing he owed her this. so she let him get away with this. Would there be any­way this could be reversed?

  80. Was mar­ried to first hus­band for 20 years. He remar­ried shortly after the divorce, mar­ried to 2nd wife for 20 years. He is mar­ried again. I remar­ried 4 years after 1st mar­riage, for 11 years. He served 6 years in the Army, told me he had resigned his com­mis­sion. He spent a year in Viet Nam within the last year, I have been informed he was able to retire with 20 years of ser­vice. Am I enti­tled to any of his retire­ment pay? I am 100% dis­abled, because of men­tal, and phys­i­cal rea­sons. Can any­one answer this for me?

  81. I was mar­ried for 11 years but she was only with me for 9 years of my mil­i­tary career. Is she enti­tled to my retirement?

  82. Michelle– Your a bitch. He worked his ass off for that. Gold dig­gers these days!

  83. if the spouse is doing all of that — why even 10%? why do you gals insist it is yours for the taking?

  84. Bitter..great name, it suits you.

    See my case as an exam­ple; I have not been able to fin­ish my degree and have the career I have always wanted because the Army moves us every 12 to 24 months in the past 9 years. I have been mar­ried to my hus­band way before he grad­u­ated Army ROTC (and now each other since we were teenagers). I have sac­ri­ficed myself to pro­vide sta­bil­ity for him and for the 3 kids we have even before our mil­i­tary life. God for­bid you call a mil­i­tary wife a “Gold dig­ger”. Our hus­bands work their asses off as you said but we are the ones that pick the pieces when they are bro­ken and frus­trated. Some­times I feel my role is to be a psy­chol­o­gist; but I lis­ten and coun­sel him because I love him and he can count on me 100%. And by the way, I was the one who opened his TSP while he was on his sec­ond deploy­ment. Each case is dif­fer­ent so stop judg­ing the lady above. You know nothing!

  85. We moved 19 times in 20 years. I raised 3 kids mostly by myself even when he was home he was either watch­ing TV or sleep­ing. He was absent from his fam­ily. I worked for AAFES 18 and 1/2 years the only ones who got retire­ment were those who worked full time and we were never in one place long enough for me to get to that point. So earn­ing my own retire­ment? How in this world could I have done that?

  86. my hus­band is going thru the exact same sit­u­a­tion with his ex. She was sup­pose to get 17% of his retire­ment at staff sargeant pay (that was his rank at the time of sep­a­ra­tion) she is now get­ting 17% of his major pay. We talked with a cou­ple of lawyers to see what we could do and came up empty handed. We’re inter­ested in writ­ing to con­gress about a repeal. can you pro­vide a website?

  87. Becuse of the insta­bil­ity of our lives, mov­ing 19 times in 20 years. Being brow beaten treated worse than new recruits. Liv­ing in poverty. Wear­ing the same pair of pants and shirt for 3 days, before you change into another set so you can wash those. Oh and hav­ing one other set for when you go shop­ping at the Com­mis­sary or PX . wear­ing a pair of sneak­ers that are thread­bare and have holes through seven inches of snow to get milk and what­ever at the local ger­man mar­ket so your kids got some­thing to eat because your mil­i­tary mate is in the field and will not be back yet for a nother 5 days and it is the change that fell out of his uni­form after that last cel­e­bra­tion he went to, and he came home snockered.

  88. No you can’t if it’s in the decree she gets it until one of you dies.

  89. your screwed bro.

  90. Seri­ously, you made the choice to remarry so you lose your ex hus­bands ben­e­fits. Thats like buy­ing a new car keep­ing it for ten years and going back to the dealer and request­ing to get your trade in back.

  91. Why would you agree to 50 per­cent? She may have only been enti­tled to 20 per­cent at 10 years.

  92. How about those spouses that sup­port their retired dis­abled spouses by work­ing hard and they do noth­ing to help yet spend every­thing they can on cig­a­rettes and bulls**t. Do those spouses who want some help get it??? No we cant get sh*t for help because they are dis­abled and you cant touch their disablity/VA/retirement. We might not go to war but who do you think has to stay home, take care of the home, kids, work and sur­vive dis­as­ters like Hur­ri­canes while that mem­ber is away and no help from the BASE!

  93. I am also a Vet­eran and was mar­ried to a Coastie for almost 19 yrs. When we got divorced I didn’t want his retire­ment and I never asked for it. But with your ex wife I know for fact you can get half of her retire­ment from the Exchange Ser­vices where she worked. I would con­tact the attor­ney you used and go for it.

  94. no offense but it sounds like you barely have a sev­enth grade under­stand­ing, as such you should re write this so that it makes sense because there aren’t a lot of details to under­stand the sit­u­a­tion. If your mother was divorced but the decree stated she was eli­gi­ble for a por­tion of his retire­ment then she would get that pay­check, up until his death. If they were still mar­ried, he would have got­ten his pay, up until his death, unless they signed up for SBP when he left active ser­vice. This SBP would have paid your mother half of the retire­ment ben­e­fit on his death. If there was no SBP, either in mar­riage or writ­ten into the divorce decree then ALL pay­ments ended the day of his death.

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