Ex military spouse remarries, what benefits are kept, what’s lost?

Q: I divorced a retired mil­i­tary man after 25 years of mar­riage. I received full life­time mil­i­tary ben­e­fits (i.e., health care, base priv­i­leges) and 50% of his pen­sion in the divorce decree. If I should remarry some­day would I lose all of my priv­i­leges and pension?


–Sheri, unknown

A: Actu­ally, there’s not a set answer that applies to all of the mil­i­tary ben­e­fits you cur­rently have. First, let’s start with the retire­ment pay. That would not be affected by your remar­riage as it is con­sid­ered a split of mar­i­tal prop­erty and is stated in your divorce decree.

On the other hand, if your ex-husband passes away and you are cov­ered by the Sur­vivor Ben­e­fit Plan (SBP) as a “for­mer spouse” your ben­e­fits through SBP would stop if you remar­ried prior to age 55. If that mar­riage ends due to death or divorce, your SBP ben­e­fits would restart.

You would lose mil­i­tary health care ben­e­fits per­ma­nently if you remarry.

Finally, base priv­i­leges includ­ing the com­mis­sary, exchange, and recre­ation facil­i­ties would be ter­mi­nated upon remar­riage, but could also be restored in the event the mar­riage ends.

Hope this is helpful.

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86 responses to “Ex military spouse remarries, what benefits are kept, what’s lost?”

  1. I am col­lect­ing 60 pre­cent comp. due to asbet­sis, If I die what rights does my wife have/

    1. My sis­ter is remar­ry­ing her x who in retired navy. She has been receiv­ing over $1,200 a month due to divorce of 7 years. They claim she will con­tinue to get this money!!! This is total crazy..milking the tax payer. What a scheme here. Divorce get tax free monies then remarry each other again. You have to be nuts!!! No..they are scammers!!!!

  2. I just found out from a coworker that she is divorced from a retired mil­i­tary per­son and she receives full ben­e­fits. My ex-husband was mil­i­tary and divorced me and told me that he would recieve ALL the ben­e­fits and I would not, as it was his job and not mine. We were mar­ried for 16 years and now he is deceased and I have remar­ried. What ben­e­fits would or should I have received from being mar­ried for 16 years?

    1. Your coworker may have been mar­ried to her retired mil­i­tary ex-spouse for over 20 years. Rules are dif­fer­ent depend­ing on how long you were mar­ried. If you are curi­ous if there are any ben­e­fits you might deserve, I rec­om­mend look­ing at the “For­mer Spouse Pro­tec­tion Act.” Unfor­tu­nately for you, because many of the ben­e­fits (i.e. med­ical, com­mis­sary, exchange, etc.) required you to be mar­ried for 20 years, you may not qual­ify for any. You will not qual­ify for Survivor’s Ben­e­fit Plan unless 1) it was in your divorce decree that your hus­band name you as the ben­e­fi­ciary AND 2) you have been divorced less than 1 year, in which case you can still for­mally file paper­work to ensure you get this benefit.

  3. to lit­tle to late!!!

  4. i was mar­ried for 15 years, divorced my ex-husband at 16 years. I am enti­tle to a per­cent­age of his retir­ment, am I able to remarry in the future?

  5. How in the world can I stop the mil­i­tary from deduct­ing my SBP prei­mum from my retired pay? My X wife divorced me when she found a new man after 21 years of mar­raige. She lived with him the first 5 years we were apart and mar­ried him 2 years after our divorce was final­ized. She was 52 at the time she remar­ried. I remar­ried finally 11 years after we sepearated and it is just wrong that I can not find any way of get­ting the Retired Army pay to stop the deduc­tion of pre­mium after 6 years of her being remar­ried and I have writ­ten the retired pay branch and least twice a year the last 6 years.

    1. If it’s not in the orig­i­nal divorce decree that you have to main­tain SBP on your orig­i­nal wife then you can change the ben­e­fi­ciary to your new spouse with­out hav­ing to inform the for­mer (although I believe there is a time frame to do this). If it’s writ­ten in your decree that you have to main­tain SBP on your for­mer spouse then there is noth­ing you can do.

      1. If it was not in the orginal divorce degree I know you have a yr from the date of your remar­riage to change the SBP to your new wife oth­er­wise you should not be pay­ing for it if all. I’m just say­ing. When I got divorced I had a yr from the date of the divorce to have SBP changed to FSBP and I had to have a deemed elec­tion to do it .. Please check this out. If she was mar­ried to you the whole 21 yrs and that was all active duty. She prob­a­bly got all the benifits. When you retired you auto­mat­i­clly put her down as SBP or made no choice you should know what you did. This can get very com­pil­cated you need a good lawyer and be sure to do your own research. I did and had to tell my lawyer what to put where. In small towns it is hard to find some one that knows abut mil­i­tary and peo­ple will tell you there is no dif­fer­ence in the law but there tru­ely is. good luck John

      2. You can file a motion to mod­ify or ter­mi­nate maintenance/alimony, but u need to prove that you can no longer afford to pay. If u file it after a cer­tain num­ber of days from the date the decree was final­ized, u will have to pay a fil­ing fee. Look into the judi­cial web­site of the place you live. Also, if u divorced in one state and moved to another state, u will have to look into infor­ma­tion on this, because u may have to file some paper­work so the state u file the motion can review the motion.

  6. My ques­tion is in my divorce I receive a per­cent­age of pay but if not in the final divorce papers if he passes away I would not receive ben­e­fits and if I remarry before 55 I still wouldn’t receive full ben­e­fits if he passes before me thanks for clar­i­fy­ing this

  7. If I remarry do I lose my DIC benifits, med­ical etc

  8. Where can I get info on SPB…I am divorced after 20 years from a sol­dier and he is still active duty with more than 24 years. I need to know how and what to do about suvivor benefits…

    1. If you are already divorced it would be in your decree if you are able to retain rights. If it is NOT in your orig­i­nal decree you CANNOT go back and try to claim SBP.

      1. unless you want to go to court to change the divorce decree.

  9. My hus­band and I have been mar­ried for 30 years, sep­a­rated the last 5. He served active duty for 23 years in which we were together the entire time. So it sounds like I am enti­tled to com­mis­sary, bx and health care priv­i­leges for the rest of my life. I did not start work­ing out­side the home until very late in our mar­riage so I could take care of the chil­dren. I there­fore have lit­tle in my 401K after the last 15 years of my own employ­ment. If I get half of his retire­ment does he get half of mine? He did not buy the retire­ment insur­ance so if he dies I get noth­ing. Although I have a decent job, I am cur­rently attend­ing col­lege try­ing to get a degree. He has sug­gested I keep our house (his share about $80k) plus all of my 401k ($100k) and call it even with no fur­ther claim to his retire­ment. I am only 51 and am con­cerned this is not as much money as half his retire­ment would be for another 20–30 years. He sug­gested I refi­nance the bal­ance of the mort­gage to keep the house and try to main­tain my cost of liv­ing. Am I at risk of get­ting less with this pro­posal with hous­ing and 401k’s going up and down?

    1. It works both ways, if you want half of his, he gets half of yours, and half the house, which a judge can force you to sell as part of the divorce to equally divide the assets (or you come up with the 80k to buy him out of his share). And if you ever get remarried…you loose your health care ben­e­fits forever.

    2. you need to get half of the mil­i­tary retire­ment pay yes you will get increases too as his receive them. you were mar­ried for 30 years and with him on active duty for 20+ you are enti­tled to it lots of ben­e­fits. My advise is go to JAG and let them tell you your rights at that time update your will with out him on it as well.

      1. Actu­ally you are incor­rect. She will NOT get increases unless it’s writ­ten into the decree (which many judges are ret­i­cent about) AND JAG can­not help her with divorce as it is a CIVILIAN mat­ter. Lastly she is not auto­mat­i­cally enti­tled to 50% of his retire­ment pay…only a court can decide that.

        1. As some­one that been through it. Mar­ried 34 years, receiv­ing 50 per­cent of retire­ment. When he gets a raise I get a raise. What you receive how­ever is con­tin­gent upon his level of dis­abil­ity. The higher his dis­abil­ity the lower your check. And yes she IS auto­mat­i­cally enti­tled to 50 per­cent as she fits what is called the 20–20-20 rule, 20 together, while he serve 20 years and retired with me than 20. Any­thing less begins to awarded in per­cent­age based on years married.

  10. We were mar­ried 23 years — 21 years active ser­vice. It ended in divorce. He has SBP & it was listed in our divorce decree. Can that ever be changed? He has remar­ried. I remar­ried for 3 years & it ended in death. I got back my ID card but with­out med­ical. Does any­one know if it is pos­si­ble to rein­state med­ical when the 2nd mar­riage ended in death. I have been sin­gle again for 8 years. Also on the Sur­vivors Ben­e­fits I read if you remarry after the age of 55 you can keep your for­mer spouse Sur­vivors Benefits???

    1. There is absolutely no way to get Tri­care back once you remarried…ever…regardless of rea­son. If it was listed in your decree that he has to main­tain SBP on you and you remar­ried the one that ended in death before age 55, there is no way to get it back. if you mar­ried him post age 55 then you may be able to lay claim to it, although it sounds like you had no trou­ble mov­ing on so why would you want it?

      1. Heck-even if it’s in the decree-if he opts to not fol­low that, and not pay the retire­ment, list you for sur­vival ben­e­fits (also in the decree) you could end up as I have-with noth­ing other than a huge credit card bill for hav­ing to hire an atty! My X chose to ignore the decree com­pletely, and has left me with my Social Secu­rity, which is min­i­mal, and now huge bills to sim­ply try to get what he agreed to in the divorce. I could end up loos­ing my home, etc., all because of this.…so beware!

        1. Your ex can­not stop pay­ment. You are to send your decree with form on the web­site send it in and your check mom the gov­ern­ment he has NOTHING to do with it, I have been receiv­ing my check from them with raises for 5 years and I am remar­ried but I waited until I was 56.

    2. Lisa you are prob­a­bly enti­tled to see a JAG Corp offi­cer (the mil­i­tary lawyers) with your ID card.

      I THINK you can get back some ben­e­fits if your mar­riage ends in death BEFORE you reach a cer­tain age, (55?). Any­how, check with the Legal Assis­tance office at the near­est base. Good luck!

  11. I need some advice. My active duty hus­band and I were mar­ried from Dec 23,2001-Sept 26,2006 at which time divorce was final and granted. He retires in July of this year. I do not know whom to go to regard­ing ini­ti­at­ing retire­ment ben­e­fits. I have been out of the mil­i­tary sys­tem for a while now… Also, we dont have a spe­cific amount or per­cent­age listed in our decree, just that” I shall main­tain my claim to mil­i­tary retire­ment spousal ben­e­fits based upon the num­ber of years the par­ties were mar­ried. Both par­ties shall coop­er­ate to make sure that wifes spousal ben­e­fits are secured.” What is my next step? thank you in advance for your assistance.

    1. That was decem­ber 23, 1991-sept 26, 2006. sorry, typo on my submission.

      1. Same thing hap­pened to me I had to get my lawyer to file a clar­i­fi­ca­tion order in court so he could give them his last year pa les from the mil­i­tary. They then had to cal­cu­late what the per­cent­age would be then I had to go back and file for it through dfas. If he’s already retired ask for any back pay that is owed or you won’t get it.

    2. In all hon­esty if it doesn’t list an actual per­cent­age you might be screwed because he can pretty much give you what­ever per­cent­age he wants to.

    3. The decree can­not give a per­cent­age until he retires. Once he does they will cal­cu­late, it only becomes com­pli­cated if he has a new wife when he retires.

  12. My hus­band work for Depart­ment of Defense and is eli­gi­ble to retire at age 55. We’d been mar­ried for 28 years and pos­si­bly get­ting a divorce. What ben­e­fits do I get since I’m always been a home­maker. Please advice thanks.

    1. Mar­lene, if he CHOOSES to retire at that age, then you’ll get a per­cent­age of that retire­ment pay. (Proably half). But if he chooses to keep work­ing, you’ll get alimony that he can pay out of his salary, and if you have any minor chil­dren, you’ll also get child sup­port. If you can live on half of his retire­ment, you should be fine liv­ing on the alimony he has to pay while still work­ing. Of course, see a divorce lawyer to be sure.

  13. I am a widow about to marry a man who is in gray area retired reserves.(23 yrs svc) He is 53 I am 52. He was divorced 25 yrs ago and his ex is now deceased. He has adult chil­dren that are liv­ing on their own and work­ing. We both work, I do not have retire­ment ben­e­fits at my job, he does. If he should pre­de­cease me what, if any sur­vivor ben­e­fits would I be enti­tled to?

  14. We were divorced after 18 yrs. of mar­riage, my ex remar­ried and his wife is now deceased. I have never re-married have no depen­dents under-age, he served four years in the navy, hon­or­ably dis­charged. Upon his death, am I eli­gi­ble for any benefits?

    1. nope, in fact he has almost no ben­e­fits out­side of min­i­mal va care if he only served 4 years.

  15. I have been retired from the USAF, and get­ting my pen­sion and my wife was also in the in USAF and col­lect­ing her pen­sion, when she passed away Her pen­sion went to me so I col­lect both. Now I am about to remarry and want to no if i will lose my deceased wife’s pen­non i collect.

    1. I take it you mean SBP pay­ments? If you are over 55 you can get remar­ried and not loose it I believe but dou­ble check with DFAS

  16. If I die while still on active duty (24 years) and my ex-wife was awarded a por­tion of my retire­ment in the divorce, does she still get the por­tion she was awarded even though I died before I dropped my retire­ment paperwork?

    1. Nope, you didn’t start get­ting the retire­ment yet and if she was awarded SBP in the decree since retire­ment hadn’t started SBP wasn’t signed up for so no pay­ments there either. I would hope pay­ing her is a bet­ter option than death though.

  17. Alright… So i know many of you were mar­ried for a great amount of time. Mine is much dif­fer­ent, it was short lived (6 months). We were offi­cially divorced 1 1/2 years ago. I am not just find­ing out that he never reported the divorce to the mil­i­tary. I knew some­thing was up when I start­ing receiv­ing bills from tri-care, and my new insur­ance say­ing they were going to can­cel me because i i was “cov­ered” by tri­care still. I had got­ten this new insur­ance because when the divorce was offi­cial my tri care insur­ance was can­celled out.

    I know when we were mar­ried you get spousale sup­port. Has he been col­lect­ing this the entire time we have been “divorced”? If so, can he be penal­ized for this.

    He is cur­rently over­seas and I am try­ing to han­dle this divorce yet again by myself. Should I go to the base an report him myself. Should I go to the base to hand them paper­work again instead of trust­ing send­ing it to him and hope that he does what he is sup­pose to do?

    Once the divorce hap­pened, he got copies of all the court doc­u­ments say­ing every­thing was final­ized — includ­ing the decree. He is claim­ing that the rea­son were not divorce via the mil­i­tary is because they would not except a copy, it must be the exact original

    I THINK HE IS FULL OF “IT” to be hon­est. I am tired of this divorce hang­ing over my head, its been a 2 1/2 year bat­tle and its com­ing back to haunt me. I am tired of it, hes the one who men­tally and phys­i­cally affected me in the wrong way.

    Any­one have any thoughts, expe­ri­ences, comments?!?

    1. It’s also very pos­si­ble he reported it and they never prop­erly recorded it. Call DFAS Tri­care etc adn let them know…you can fax the doc­u­ments. If he was still receiv­ing pay they will col­lect it back from him if he was not going to receive BAH with­out being mar­ried. If he is of a high enough rank he is autho­rized BAH regard­less of mar­riage status.

  18. My father is an 83 year old USAF retiree. Our mother passed away in 2004. They were mar­ried for 48 years. This week he announced that he plans on remar­ry­ing some­one whom he met online and whom he is liv­ing with presently for the past four years; the wed­ding will take place where they reside (Texas) in Jan­u­ary or Feb­ru­ary, a mere two months away. They can­celled Thanks­giv­ing with our side of the fam­ily to be with hers. His bride-to-be is already receiv­ing a pen­sion from another mar­riage that ended in death. I am wor­ried that this woman is attempt­ing to col­lect his pen­sion, life insur­ance and any other ben­e­fit (includ­ing spousal rights in regards to hav­ing 100 per­cent of the mar­i­tal prop­erty, such as the house and its con­tents). My father is against a pre-nup and believes that get­ting mar­ried is the right thing to do, due to his prin­ci­ples. My hus­band is a finan­cial plan­ner but my father is against him look­ing at his finan­cials and offer­ing sug­ges­tions to pro­tect his family’s wealth. I would like to call my father and speak with him but “she” is always nearby and lis­ten­ing to our con­ver­sa­tion. My dad lives 300 miles away so I am think­ing about writ­ing a let­ter ask­ing him to at least meet with a reservist who prac­tices in the field of fam­ily law although I doubt he will. I feel like this mar­riage is being rushed for some rea­son and every time when I go down to see him, his nice fur­ni­ture, paint­ings of value, etc. keep get­ting replaced with tacky ones; also only her side of the family’s pic­tures are in view. When we first met her, it was dur­ing Thanks­giv­ing; we were unaware that he was even dat­ing any­one much less liv­ing with some­one. At the time, she told us that she didn’t want any­thing from him, they were just friends, then, in a cou­ple of weeks she was liv­ing with him. At first, she was sleep­ing in a guest bed­room, soon after, she was sleep­ing in our father’s bed. We also dis­cov­ered that she had been com­mu­ni­cat­ing with him online while our mother was still alive. I don’t see the phys­i­cal affec­tion or love that was seen in his mar­riage to my mother; instead, I see my dad glued to the t.v. watch­ing sports all day long while this other woman busies her­self by thumb­ing through cir­cu­lars look­ing for more things to buy and hint­ing to my dad what she likes or what they need. My dad also co-signed on a new car for her recently. Not even sure I’ll even go to the wed­ding; can­not sup­port a deci­sion that I feel is wrong. Any sug­ges­tions would be appreciated.

    1. If she was mar­ried before to a mil­i­tary man who died, SHE IS NOT ALLOWED TO MARRY ANYONE OTHER THAN A MILITARY RETIREE!
      If she does, she will be pun­ished by los­ing her med­ical care (tri­care for life)AND her mil­i­tary ID CARD and all base priv­i­leges SHE ALREADY HAS WITHOUT YOUR DAD!
      She ISN’T a “gold dig­ger” because she was once mar­ried to another retiree! She gains noth­ing she doesn’t already have from his mil­i­tary retiree ben­e­fits.
      She could be a gold dig­ger for other rea­sons of char­ac­ter, though.
      She CANNOT col­lect more than one sur­vivors ben­e­fit pen­sion from more than one deceased mil­i­tary retiree.
      I am amazed that you have left your dad alone and lonely for nine years sel­dom vis­it­ing him, and are now all so damned con­cerned about pro­tect­ing what you THINK you are gonna get when he dies! HE may have already writ­ten you out of the will for your neglect and lack of lov­ing TREATMENT of him LONG BEFORE HE MET HER, decid­ing to give it to some wor­thy char­ity instead! I know, i am get­ting “up there” and could lay on the floor dead for six weeks before my kids missed me, for all the more fre­quently they call or visit, and one only lives a cou­ple miles away. DISTANCE IS NO EXCUSE for not call­ing such an old father DAILY, or AT LEAST every other day, if you really loved him.

  19. I was mar­ried to a Navy offi­cer fo 10 yrs and I had no idea about the divorce unil I filed for on 11 year later and I found out we were divorced 1991, we mar­ried in 1981, it is not stated in the divorce decree about any pen­tion after the divorce. Who do I call to answer my questions

    1. There are no ques­tions to be answered. He prob­a­bly filed for divorce on grounds of aban­don­ment which means his noti­fi­ca­tion repon­si­bil­ity was to put an ad in the news­pa­per at your last known address. If you failed to respond to that ad a judge can order the divorce. Since you failed to respond you have NO rights to his pen­sion or any other finan­cial assis­tance nor will you ever be able to get it. You have obvi­ously had over 20 years to plan your own retire­ment nor did you care about where your hus­band was for years until you want money from him.…pathetic

  20. Would i lose my VA spousal sur­vivor ben­e­fits if some­one anony­mously called and claimed i remarried?

    1. Not if you can prove you didn’t remarry. If you did and didn’t report it, and have been using the med­ical ben­e­fits (or are under 55 and used any of them) then they can come after you for fraud as well.

  21. DOES ANYONE KNOW WHERE TO FIND THE REG ON WHETHER IT IS TRUE THAT A SPOUSE CAN REMARRY AFTER THE AGE OF 55 WHEN THE SERVICE MEMBER HAS DIED OVER 30 YEARS AGO…
    CAN THE SPOUSE KEEP MEDICAL AND PX PRIVILAGES?
    I HAVE READ IN SEVERAL PIBLICATIONS THAT ONE DOES NOT LOSE THEIR TRI CARE/PC/COMMISSARY IF THEY MARRY AFTER AGE 55…

    1. You for­ever loose Tri­care if you remarry, even if you divorce or your new spouse dies, you will never be able to get Tri­care back. You will keep your PX/Commissary etc.

  22. My ex spouse was ordered to pay me 50% of his retire­ment pay. He states that he doesnt have to pay me out of pocket. He staes that I will get my por­tion when my paper­work goes through DFAS. is this true? My lawyer stated that he should have started pay­ing as soon as the divorce was final. It has now been two months since our divirce.

    1. It’s been TWO MONTHS! DFAS has to process your paper­work leave the poor guy alone…did YOU sub­mit the proper paper­work to them, I doubt it…and you’ll be pay­ing your dang lawyer more then you will prob­a­bly get from his retire­ment the past two months any­way if you try to fight him.

    2. You should sent a copy of you decree to DFAS your­self and do it now.

      There ia a time limit. So fax and mail a copy with return express mail receipt

  23. Sarah — you will get paid by DFAS when they process your paper­work and every pay raise and/or cost of liv­ing raise will come to you as well. Hold on to your horses you’ll get paid…leave your spouse alone. I love all you x spouses going after the Sol­diers money. This reg was set in place for the Field Grade Offi­cers who ran away with their sec­re­taries and left the wives pen­ni­less .… .the rules need to be CHANGED. Spouses had a chance to go to col­lege and make some­thing of them­selves as Sol­diers served their coun­tries. Imme­di­ately the lawyers check to see how much the X will be enti­tled to — get a job!!!

    1. what is your agenda? why do you keep attack­ing peo­ple? you need to seek pro­fes­sional help.

    2. some­one should get you away from this forum. peo­ple are just ask­ing ques­tions. attack­ing peo­ple like you do indi­cates you are seri­ously disturbed.

      1. i dis­agree with you I m an out­sider and all i see is women try­ing to get the ex pen­sion and retire­ment. I believe you all need to get a job and not depend on others.

  24. Why do you attack the peo­ple ask­ing ques­tions? Are you a spambot?

  25. My hus­band works for the DOD. His ex wife wants 7 yrs of his retire­ment, which she would not be inel­i­gi­ble for if she remar­ried. She has lived with her same sex part­ner for the past 16 years since the divorce. We mar­ried 3 years after his divorce and at that time she tried to amend the final divorce decree to claim the 7 years of retire­ment but his records show no acknowl­edg­ment from the retire­ment office that any changes have ever taken place. His under­stand­ing is he would have to agree to have the final divorce decree reopened for changes. My ques­tion would be, isn’t liv­ing with your same sex part­ner the same thing as a com­mon law mar­riage? It’s con­fus­ing that if she was mar­ried all this time it would not be an issue.

    1. it’s not since most states don’t acknowl­edge same sex cou­ples for ben­e­fits. Go to the courts and get the records from when she tried to get the 7 years. The retire­ment office would NOT have this infor­ma­tion unless your hus­band gave it to them so they are the wrong resource. You need to go to the county clerks office in the state/county where that case was filed when you two got mar­ried. Get the orig­i­nal doc­u­ments from the case and see if it was dis­missed or if he’s legally oblig­ated to pay. If that doc­u­ment said her plea was dis­missed she can moan and com­plain all she wants but you don’t have to pay her a dime. And if DOD is like the mil­i­tary (and I’m assum­ing it is) she could remarry forty times and still be eli­gi­ble for that retire­ment pay until the day he dies if it’s in the decree.

  26. WE WERE MARRIED FOR 24 YRS AND MY HUSBAND RETIRED AFTER__24 YR FROM THE MARINES. WE WERE DIVORCED, AND IN THE DIVORCE DEECEE, IT STATES THAT HE GETS ALL HIS RETIREMENT. CAN THE DIVORCE DECREE BE CHANGED ?

    1. No it can­not be changed, if you signed off on it in the divorce the courts will not change it…it is called a FINAL decree for a rea­son. If you haven’t remar­ried, and are col­lect­ing SS you may be able to get the amount you receive adjusted based on his level of earn­ings if you haven’t already done so.

    2. You are get­ting screwed …You are enti­tled to 50% of his retire­ment , Tri­care, Com­mis­ary and PX . You need to get a lawyer to rep­re­sent you that knows what they are doing. I was mar­ried 21 years and recieve 40 per­cent retire­ment and all my benefits…

      1. You are 100% INCORRECT. She agreed to, IN WRITING, that was approved by a judge, that she would leave his pen­sion alone. They are ALREADY divorced. If they were just going through the divorce she could ask a judge for an award­ing of priv­i­leges (no guar­an­tee said judge would give them to her). Since she already agreed to not go after them, that can­not be changed.

        1. I am sorry but no court in the coun­try can take or give away mil­i­tary ben­e­fits. It does not mat­ter what is in a divorce decree when it comes to retire­ment or any mil­i­tary ben­e­fit such as post 911 GI Bill. DFAS fol­lows the con­gres­sional order known as the 20–20-20 or 15–15-15. The judge CAN order cash set­tle­ments to com­pen­sate but not the actual retire­ment. My ex tried to back out of sign­ing over his GI Bill to me in the divorce, so the judge was pre­pared to award reha­bil­i­ta­tive alimony to com­pen­sate but she could not order him to sign over a mil­i­tary benefit.

    3. I have been divorced for 39 years and noth­ing was men­tioned about retire­ment back in those days. I recently found out by being told to call my Clerk of Courts that “yes” I can re-open my divorce even after all of these years. I have hired a lawyer to do so!!! Good luck!!!!

  27. My mom was mar­ried to my father 24 years and then divorced. she now lives out of the U,S, and he has remar­ried for 7 years. He is a retired mil­i­tary man as well. Is my mom able to receive retire­ment at her retire­ment age if he is remar­ried? and she lives out of the US. Thanks!

    1. going to depend on what it says in the divorce decree. If she was to get a por­tion of his retire­ment pen­sion it would be listed in the decree. If she is a US cit­i­zen, and has not remar­ried she may be eli­gi­ble to cal­cu­late her SS based off of his earning.

  28. My mom was mar­ried to my dad for 20+ yrs. He is retired from the Nacy. she receives ben­e­fits cur­rently but he just passed away this month. Will she con­tinue to get the money?

  29. If an active duty mil­i­tary per­son dies (not war related) does his wife get ben­e­fits for life regard­less of if she remar­ries or not?

  30. My ex-wife remar­ried at the age of 53 and is still receiv­ing 30% of my mil­i­tary retire­ment. My mil­i­tary retire­ment is not part of the divorce decree as divided prop­erty. I want my retire­ment pay back. I heard from a friend that if the EX remar­ries before the age of 55 they are not enti­tled to my mil­i­tary pay.

    1. Your friend is incor­rect the 55 age only has to do with sbp pay­ments. How is she get­ting pay­ments if it’s not in your divorce decree that you have to give them to her. If its not in the decree you should be able to stop them ASAP

  31. I served in the mil­i­tary for over 20 years. However,I was mar­ried for approx. 16 years of it. In the “legal sep­a­ra­tion agree­ment” I signed off on 50% of my mil­i­tary retire­ment pay for my X. Later I was told that the per­cent­age was less than 50% enti­tle­ment. Is this true and is there any­thing I can do about chang­ing it?

  32. I think it it is SHAMEFUL that a ELDERLY MILITARY WIDOW, mar­ried for >44 years to one man, a mil­i­tary retiree, would be FINANCIALLY PUNISHED if she remar­ries EVEN at 68, los­ing her med­ical care (Tri­care “for life”), her ID CARD, AND ALL BASE PRIVILEGES her hus­band earned for her.

    That con­demns such a mil­i­tary widow who can­not AFFORD the slash in ben­e­fits to live “THE REST OF THEIR LIFE” in lon­li­ness and social iso­la­tion! I AM such a lonely old widow. I don’t WANT to just “keep busy vol­un­teer­ing”, I WANT SOMEONE TO LOVE, AND LOVE ME!

    As a Chris­t­ian, I WON’T Just “shack up” with a guy, but even those wid­ows WHO DO “live together” with a sub­se­quent love, after their hus­band dies, STILL LOSE THEIR BENEFITS AND ID CARD, as if they had remarried.

    Why should mil­i­tary retiree wid­ows be so cru­elly punished?

    1. To you it looks like pun­ish­ment, how­ever, that is just how the sys­tem works. Ques­tion? Why remarry at age 68? There is a lot to loose here in this case. There is a price to every­thing we do and chose in life. 44 years of mar­riage is a long time and not that easy to let go even after death. But, things change. This lady earned her ben­e­fits and deserves to be happy, but, she has to decide what is the bet­ter option for her. This is just me, she is bet­ter off just lov­ing the guy and keep­ing her ben­e­fits because she is going to need it at that age. What hap­pens if the mar­riage doesnt work out? Because she remar­ried, she loses Tri­care for life per­ma­nently and every­thing else.…. That is a hard deci­sion to make and I wish her all the best.

  33. I was mar­ried to a ser­vice­man from l954 –1974. He retired after 20yrs of ser­vice in 1962. In 1976 I remar­ried and got divorced in 1978. At the time of divorce my hus­band was enrolled in SBP and I also was on full social secu­rity dis. at the time of divorce. I was told by the Dpt. of the Army that I am not eleg­i­ble for ben­e­fits. Has any­thing changed since that time, since the time of mar­riage in ser­vice was only 8 years. I would have mainly be inter­ested in hav­ing had health ins like tri­care bsides my medicare.

  34. I am a AF widow, I do not receive any money from the AF all I have is base privledges and tri-care for life. I am plan­ning on get­ting remar­ried to a non-military man, I real­ize I will lose it all but have read on a few web sites that if some­thing would hap­pen to my new spouse I may be able to get base privledges back, just won­der if that is true or not

  35. I am divorced and have met the 20/20/20. My ques­tion is even though my divorce paper states I would loose my pen­sion if I remar­ried and /or were liv­ing with some­one would that still hold if I did remarry after 55 yrs??? Would /could I still receive my pen­sion?? After all, I helped him get where he is in the Army.

  36. can and ex spouse after 10 years of mar­riage who then remarry for 12 years receive mil­i­tary retire­ment pay from her ex hus­band she is still­marry to her sec­ond husband

  37. I have 20 years of active duty ser­vice. My wife has decided she wants to divorce me after 24 years of mar­riage. I was going to retire next year but changed my mind not to retire. If she divorces me before I retire, what enti­tle­ments does she get from being mar­ried to me. And is she remar­ries after the divorce does that change how she would receive entitlements?

  38. Has there ever been a case won, if I’m still mar­ried to my astranged hus­band, 15 years ago. I have lived with a vertaren for 14 years, do i stand a chance if I keep fight­ing this case he is deseased, but he applied for me to get ben­e­fits before he died. I am his ben­e­fi­ciary on his pen since 2002 I was there for him for all those year’s and took care of him till he died by myself. Do I stand a chance?

  39. My hus­band (vet­eran with 22 com­bined years in active army and army national guard) passed away while in the gray area (retire­ment), and he did not live to add me to his sur­vivor ben­e­fits paper­work. We went to the clos­est base to have this done, but were refused because we although we had been together 12 years (bought a house together), we had not been offi­cially mar­ried for a full year. Am I eli­gi­ble for any retire­ment ben­e­fits? Am I eli­gi­ble for a mil­i­tary ID card?

    1. The auto­matic default is now cov­er­age for the wife. Unless he wrote a let­ter refus­ing SBP. I would as soon as pos­si­ble take your mar­riage license and ensure you were already added to DEERS. Then con­tact DFAS to find out your rights and when pay­ment should begin. I believe you can­not receive it until the day they he was enti­tled (usu­ally 60 years of age) You can also receive wid­ows ben­e­fit at she 60 from SSA. Good luck and they don’t make it easy. So keep up the good fight.

  40. the one year you quote has to due to a newly mar­ried ser­vice member/ gray area/ or retiree has ONE YEAR after mar­riage to add a new spouse to his or her SBP insur­ance. unless the divorce decree states he MUSt take care of the first wife for­ever. There are many variables

  41. I am divorced from a mil­i­tary guy and upon his retire­ment i am sup­posed to get 50% of that retire­ment, if i remarry will i loose that 50%?

  42. I received 26.25% of my ex’s retir­ment pay when we divorced. We were mar­ried for 17 years in which 10 yrs 7mths of those were active duty.

  43. Lexi.….how did you earn some­thing??? You were not in the mil­i­tary were you??

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