Ex-spouse benefits can be tricky

Q: I was mar­ried for 29 years and for 20 of those years the ex was in the Navy. We were divorced for 10 years then he passed away. Dur­ing those 10 years I did not ask for any of his retire­ment pay. I would like to now get my ben­e­fits back. How do I go about doing this?


A: Hmmm. It sounds as if retire­ment ben­e­fits were not awarded to you in the divorce decree. If your mem­ory is foggy or you have doubts, dust off that doc­u­ment and read it. In the same vein, he prob­a­bly didn’t vol­un­tar­ily elect to pro­vide you with for­mer spouse Sur­vivor Ben­e­fit Plan (SBP) cov­er­age. If he did, then you’d be in luck and would receive 55% of the cov­ered retire­ment pay.  With no SBP, you’re not eli­gi­ble for any of your ex-husband’s mil­i­tary retirement. On the other hand, if you haven’t remar­ried since the divorce it sounds like you might be eli­gi­ble for health­care and instal­la­tion ben­e­fits, such as com­mis­sary and exchange priv­i­leges. This would be the case if 20 of your mar­ried years over­lapped with your ex-husband’s mil­i­tary ser­vice. I rec­om­mend gath­er­ing up per­ti­nent doc­u­ments — mar­riage license, divorce decree, your ex-husband’s DD214 — and visit the near­est DEERS (Defense Eli­gi­bil­ity Enroll­ment Sys­tem) loca­tion. They should be able to help you sort through the records and get you in the sys­tem.  How­ever, if you ever remar­ried, regard­less of whether or not you’re cur­rently mar­ried, you per­ma­nently lost your eli­gi­bil­ity for health­care ben­e­fits. Good luck.

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78 responses to “Ex-spouse benefits can be tricky”

  1. The above infor­ma­tion is a bit mind boggling,either you have no ben­e­fits are you do,i,ll assume you will not have base bennies,such as commessary,BX,Base etc,once your Hus­band Dies and you remarry.

  2. I been divorce form my wife 25 years and she remar­ried a retire SFC. Does she still get part of my pension

    1. Sadly if it was in your decree then she gets it until you die

  3. My for­mer hus­band and I were mar­ried for 22 yrs.while he was on active duty. Split­ting of his retire­ment pay was part of the divorce agree­ment but he died prior to retir­ing. The SBP was not in the divorce agree­ment but it clearly states about the retire­ment pay. He was eli­gi­ble to retire but died while on active duty. Do I qual­ify for his retire­ment pay since he was eli­gi­ble to retire? Thank you.

    1. No you are not. If he never retired, and was still active duty then he wouldn’t be pay­ing for the SBP (and if it wasn’t in the decree he didn’t have to name you which means you still would have been out of luck). Retire­ment pay ends imme­di­ately on the death of the ser­vice mem­ber unless SBP was selected. The ONLY way you could receive any­thing is if he had you named as a ben­e­fi­ciary on his life insurance.

  4. Is an ex spouce eliglibe for a retire’s pay if she has remarried.

  5. If it wasn’t in your orig­i­nal divorce decree then prob­a­bly not. She can hire a lawyer, as should you, but usu­ally if it wasn’t divided at the time of the decree then no. The only issue would be if there was absolutely no men­tion of retire­ment in the order. Then some­times you’ll find a squir­relly lawyer to try. Go to a lawyer straight off with your orig­i­nal doc­u­men­ta­tion and see what they say about the word­ing. It’s rare though that an ex can get retire­ment so many years after a decree is final­ized if there was no orig­i­nal men­tion of it

  6. My ques­tion is does an ex-spouse con­tinue to receive Retire­ment pay after the Retiree has passed on? What does For­mer Spouse Pro­tec­tion Act Deduc­tion mean? Just asking?

    1. Only way they would get pay would be if the retiree elected and main­tained SBP in the ex’s name. If they didn’t then you are out of luck. Mind you if it wasn’t writ­ten in the divorce decree it’s strictly vol­un­tary for the retiree to do so.

      1. After the retire dies there is no check unless the retiree made her his FSBP or if she like I did made a deemed elec­tive to receive it. It does have to be in the divorce decree. Pretty sure but retire pay and FSPB can be very trickly.

        1. Would you hap­pen to know how long it takes before the for­mer spouse starts to receive the retiree pay? I have been wait­ing for over 14 mos. to receive my retiree pay from my ex who died on active duty in the army. the SBP office keeps giv­ing me the run around and keeps stat­ing that it’s in pro­cess­ing after 14 mos! Also, would you know who could i talk to that is above the army post SBP office?

          Thank you,

          A Texas for­mer spouse that was treated unfairly by Fort Hood!

          1. You shouldn’t be receiv­ing SBP. SBP is cho­sen when a ser­vice mem­ber retires. And the spouse receives that after a retiree passes away. If he was still on active duty when he died, you would only be eli­gi­ble to receive life insur­ance if he chose you as his beneficiary.

  7. I was mar­ried for 18 years and divorsed my Ex, I spent 15 years in the mil­i­tary and got out with an Hon­er­a­ble Dis­charge while mar­ried to my Ex.. I remar­ried a year later and after 8 years of being mar­ried I’ve decided to go back in the mil­i­tary to fin­ish my 5 years for retire­ment, can my Ex go after my retire­ment after I have my 20 years.

    1. If it wasn’t in the orig­i­nal divorce decree then no. If it was writ­ten in that she would receive a por­tion of retire­ment then yes.

    2. Your ques­tion is very tricky I would take my divorce papers to a qual­i­fied mil­i­tary lawyer and get this resovleve. If she was given part of your retire­ment That might be all she will get and she would have it for life. But if the is no SBP which there would not have been if you did not retire from the mil­i­tary and just got out. I think you could make your present wife your SBP and if you died she would get that the x wife’s check would stop upon your death. If a por­tion of your check was in deed in the divorce but not SBP was asigned and you divorced before and remar­ried then the present wife would be enti­tled to all benifits. It would behove you to check this out thoughly. good luck

  8. I am an ex-military spouse liv­ing in Texas. I was mar­ried for 35 years, of that 25 years he was in active duty or National Guard. The divorce attor­ney that I had hired was not fami­lar with mil­i­tary divorces. I had to do alot of research on mil­i­tary divorce for women and then print out the doc­u­ments. and give them to my attor­ney. The com­plex issue was that Texas is a com­mu­nity prop­erty state. The other attor­ney did only gov­ern­ment and Qadro legal issues. Very few attor­neys in Texas know or under­stand Qadros. At the end of final­iz­ing the decree I had writ­ten my own divorce decree. I had to be care­ful of the word­ing and how it was stated. The ex’s last mil­i­tary job was also con­nected to Civil Ser­vice. When every­thing was final­ized I had 3 divorce decrees.….Texas, Army, and Civil Ser­vice. If I want to maried I would have to mar­rry a mil­i­tary retiree or lose 80% of my benefits.

    1. Thanks Ann. I was mar­ried 35 years to a ser­vice­man and out of that over 17 years while he was active duty. Not sure if that enti­tles me to ben­e­fits or not. I heard not, but I am still in the deers sys­tem, and am using the med­ical and don’t know if I am enti­tled. My id expired. Have not received any of his retirement.

  9. If in my divorce decree if it states that he has to keep me as benifi­cuary and he doesnt and dies, can I fight that

    1. A divorce decree alone does not enti­tle you to any­thing you. When he dies his retire­ment check will stop. Then the FSBP would kick in in 45–60 days. If he did sign you up for FSBP then you would be enti­tled and he could not stop it with­out your per­mis­sion. You need to take your divorce decree and have a good legal lawyer that knows about mil­i­tary rules and regs. You also need to make a deemed elec­tive which will require him to make you his FSBP if you dont you want get any­thing. GET A LAWYER. A GOOD ONE.

  10. Im a dis­abled Mil­i­tary retiree, If my spouse and I divorce with 2 kids under the age of 18 after 23 years what is she enti­tled to? Does she keep the house? and will I still have to pay her mort­gage, if so for how long?

    1. depend­ing on how long you were mar­ried while you were in ser­vice she can get 50% of your pen­sion. Plus you will more than likely be required to pay alimony and child sup­port for sure. Dis­abil­ity pay WILL be used to cal­cu­late child sup­port but make sure you have a damn good attor­ney that knows the mil­i­tary because fed­eral law dic­tates that dis­abil­ity shouldn’t be used to cal­cu­late alimony and she should only get 50% of your non dis­abil­ity pen­sion. How­ever, there are doc­u­mented cases where an unknown­ing lawyer and judge will include dis­abil­ity in the calculations.

      In regards to the house, it’s con­sid­ered joint prop­erty and a judge can order it sold and the prof­its split down the mid­dle. If she wants to keep it that is a nego­ti­at­ing point. Maybe you give her the house and keep your pen­sion etc. how­ever, if she stays in the house make SURE that you refi­nance the mort­gage so that your name is off of it. Because even after the divorce if she stops pay­ing on it, if your name is on it, you are legally oblig­ated to pay. Get it writ­ten into the decree that it is to be refi­nanced out of your name so that she has no recourse.

  11. I was served divorce papers a cou­ple sees ago from my hus­band who is in the ARMY. We were mar­ried a lit­tle over 10 years. What are my rights and enti­tle­ments? As far as retire­ment, is it a given if i want or is it up to the judge? Also, can I get 401k and retire­ment now or do I have to wait till he retires?

    1. It is entirely up to the judge if you get retire­ment and how much of it you get. Your rights and “enti­tle­ments” are what­ever your civil­ian lawyer can secure for you. You will loose all health ben­e­fits and mil­i­tary ID priv­i­leges as a rule.

      If you are awarded a part of his retire­ment you will only receive that if and when he retires. If the 401k is split (once again, up to the judge) then you can roll over your por­tion into an IRA etc. If you do not roll it over, and are under retire­ment age, you will pay all of the tax penal­ties and fees.

  12. whut is the right of a ex who was marry to mil­tary navy per­sonal 19 teen yrs and 10months
    wend the navy tell her she has no right.but she was given all her mil­tary right

    1. you should be entailed to half his retire­ment and full med­ical and id card make sure in divorce he has to keep you as as sur­vivor ben­e­fit plan thats when he has to pay so much every month to make sure you get 55% of his pay if he dies.

      1. She leaves alot of infor­ma­tion out. was she mar­ried to him 20/20/20. she was not if she was only mar­ried to him 19.10months. I was mar­ried to him for 19.4 months and the only thing I would have fit in was 20/20/15 which gave me the health insur­ace for 1 yr I think it might be 2 now. But since I was work­ing they would not even give me that beca­sue it was providee from my job. So no I got noth­ing. as far as that goes. I did get part of his retiree­ment check awarded by the court and I did get a deemed elec­tive but no other benifits. You really need a lawyer. it is very con­fus­ing and from what is said on her all divorces are not treated alike. good luck

        1. as a post note to the above. I had to have myself made as a FSBP becaue he would not you have to make a deemed elec­tive and you only have a yr from the date of the divorce to do that. You really need to check this out hope­fully it is not to late. It might be since the orginal post was over 42 weeks ago. good luck

  13. My hus­band of 23 years asked for a Divorce in Jan­u­ary, 2012. He has 25 years of mil­i­tary service“on the books” and has about 14 months until he can receive Mil­i­tary retire­ment pay. I need to know what spe­cific ben­e­fits are mine. Does the mil­i­tary pay for me, and my three nine year old boys, to relo­cate? What type of Alimony and child sup­port can I expect? Can I also ask that all Pay­ments my– soon-to-be-ex will be mak­ing me go through the court sys­tem, so they know when he has paid and when he has not. I have vis­ited the JAG office at Fort Sam Hous­ton to deter­mine what my rights were and they wouldn’t even talk to me, they said it would infringe on my-soon-to-be-ex’s rights. How do I get all the answers I need, when the Army won’t even talk to me. My-soon-to-be-ex is a LTC.

    1. Jackie,

      Talk to a lawyer you will have a lot of rights with the knowl­edge you will know how to get what is due to you. I was mar­ried to a retired active duty for 35 years and 19yrs and 10month of that was active duty. I had to start from the bot­tom too but in the long run it has paid off. Do not put it off get legal advice as soon as pos­si­ble most will talk with you for 30 min to 1 hr. for free.

  14. My hus­band is a retired after 23 years of ser­vice. We have been mar­ried for 19 years, 10 years of which was while he was on active duty. We have a minor child. I am curi­ous is Dis­abil­ity pay can be used to cal­cu­late spousal and child support?

    1. yes for child sup­port and no for spousal

  15. My hus­band an i have been mar­ried for 4 years an have 3 kids an the first year of our mar­riage i found out that he was liv­ing a dou­ble life with some­one that looked just like me an the girl found me on face­book.. When i asked him about it all he could do is say yes cause they had pic­tures together an every­thing.. Well after that I sup­pose all the lies had stop but come to find out the chick was in the mil­i­tary, an knew he was mar­ried an con­tinue to con­tact my hus­band my email an he would go along with the emails an every since i found out they com­mu­ni­cate through emails i have been check­ing his phone an every­thing.. Im tired of the cheat­ing an lies i have two kids an Im just going to move on an start a new life cause its not going to stop.. what can i do to pro­tect myself an my kids? could they get child sup­port? My hus­band is a E-5

    1. If they are his kids, then yes you can get child sup­port. If they are from a dif­fer­ent baby daddy, that guy should be pay­ing child sup­port and your cur­rent hus­band has no legal oblig­a­tion to sup­port them unless he legally adopted them. Kind of skep­ti­cal though since you say you have 3 kids, then mod­ify it to 2 at the end.

    2. Of course they will get child sup­port and med­ical care and IDS until they are 18 if they are his his or he adopted them.

      1. I would make it so that the mil­i­tary sends you the child sup­port that way he will not miss a pay­ment. I had to garan­ish his check for that to hap­pen. Get a lawyer. There are plenty of dead beats around. Untill I could do that I also had his check sent to the main office here in NC and they sent me a check that way it did not bounce on me. You will have to wait untill it clears but dif­fer­ent states do it dif­fer­ently . check it out. For three kids it should be about 500.00 for child sup­port here in NC maybe more now.
        ques­tion you did not clar­ify if he was actu­ally in the mil­i­tary of if just she was. If he is not then there will be no ID or other stuff. get a lawyer.

  16. can i get alimony if i have only been mar­ried to my hus­band for 4 years an we have 2 kids?

    1. That is up to your state law. 4 years is gen­er­ally con­sid­ered a very short mar­riage and while doubt­ful you’d get alimony you may receive tem­po­rary (like 6 months usu­ally) assis­tance. Only a lawyer can tell you though.

    2. prob­a­bly not alimony but yours kids if they are his will have med­ical cov­er­age and ID cards until they r 18!

  17. I am ask­ing my ques­tion for my mother. My mother and father were mar­ried for 13 years. He walked out on her right before I was born and the divorce was done about 9 months after that. she was in a bad state that basicly any­thing that her lawyer said went, at the time no infor­ma­tion of retire­ment hap­pen. My father has been mar­ried now 5 addi­tional times and my mother has never been remar­ried at all. My father is going to be get­ting his retire­ment this year from the Army after being reac­ti­vated at the age of 59. I have read alot on the sub­ject and I can­not under­stand if retire­ment was not listed on the divorce if it could be looked at now. She has lit­tle to no income any­more due to health issues. He was in the mil­i­tary for over 10 years of their mar­rage as well, (con­tin­u­ing on into the mid-90’s) Does any­one know where we can do to assist on this con­fus­ing subject?

    1. No she can­not, at the time she was divorced SCRA was already in play so if it’s not in the decree she can’t go back decades later and fight for it. HOWEVER, since they were mar­ried over 10 years she should be able to have her social secu­rity cal­cu­lated off of his work history/benefit if it is more than hers was.

  18. I recently mar­ried a man who was med­ically retired as an E-4 when we mar­ried. He was pre­vi­ously mar­ried to a woman for 10+ years. I want to know if she is still enti­tled to any of his benefits.

    1. med­ically retired prob­a­bly not but check his divorce decree

  19. carol danni annas­ta­sia jkw inman . i was mar­ried to don­ald ray kirby for 13 yrs…
    a he was ser­gant 4th class in the mil­i­tary.

  20. all these peo­ple assum­ing other peo­ples names and jump­ing coun­try to coun­try should be put away…
    i know theres 8 using my iden­tity and i want them in prison now.….
    that goes for the cult too…especially them..they think they can tres­pass where they want and LYE about WHO sent them.

  21. If your child is a depen­dent of a retired ser­vice mem­ber, but the child lives 100% with the mother, and is a minor, is the child enti­tled to full health and com­mis­sary priv­eledges under the DEERS pro­gram. Some offices say the child is enti­tled to full exchange , com­mis­sary, and health ben­e­fits and some offices say the child is only enti­tled to health ben­e­fits if they do not phys­i­cally live with the spon­sor which does not seem fair to the chil­dren, espe­cially if the spon­sor has many chil­dren from dif­fer­ent house­holds. Please clar­ify or pro­vide me the doc­u­men­ta­tion so I can give to those DEERS offices that are cur­rently pro­vid­ing false information.


  22. i was mar­ried to a retiree for 21 years of which was all dur­ing his 22 active duty years.upon divorce, it was not put into our divorce decree any mil­i­tary benefits…however, as kind hearted as i was, he told me that he was a man of his word, and would pay me a por­tion of his retireement..i since was able to keep my deers and ID card…for 4 years, he was faith­fully pay­ing me as promised until just recently…now hes claim­ing that since its not in our divorce decree, that “im screwed”…is there a statue of lim­i­ta­tion on time frame to file for his retirement?

    1. If it’s not in the orig­i­nal decree you can’t go back and get it once the decree has been final­ized. You will main­tain your ID, Tri­care etc pro­vided you didn’t remarry but if you neglected to get the retire­ment por­tion in writ­ing at the time of the divorce then he is more than likely cor­rect as you have no legal recourse to go after him for it.

    2. My girl­friend sued her ex years later and won. It’s worth a try.

  23. My hus­band and I have been mar­ried three years. He is active duty E-5 in the Navy. We had a child together and he is now three. My hus­band said he wanted a divorce and the prob­lem is that i acquired alot of health issues from hav­ing our son (degen­er­a­tive disk dis­ease, which i will need surgery for in a cou­ple of years or i will wind up in a wheel­chair) i also acquired high blood pres­sure, carpel tunnel…he says that he doesnt care that i will be loos­ing all my med­ical and that i will have no money to receive any of my meds for pain or any­thing else…is there any­thing i can do? i havent cheated or done any­thing wrong. can he just divorce me and leave me this way?

    1. No there is not any­thing you can do. If he wants a divorce, he will get one and you will loose all med­ical cov­er­age. The good news is that with the health care reform that just passed you can­not be turned down for pri­vate cov­er­age. Start look­ing for either a job that will give you indi­vid­ual health cov­er­age (your child will still be cov­ered under Tri­care) or start get­ting pri­vate insur­ance quotes.

  24. i was mar­ried to my spouse for almost 30 years, 18 and a half of them were active duty years. I fell short for the 20/20 ben­e­fits. I also had a lawyer that knew noth­ing about mil­i­tary divorces. I was only awarded $500 a month out of his retire­ment pay. lost all my med­ical and ID card. I also care for our spe­cial needs adult daugh­ter with a life threat­en­ing ill­ness. Can I take my ex back to court for half of his pay? I have been divorced from him for eight years. I did move back int his home for six of those years. but he never changed and the abuse was very bad. Please can some one help answer this ques­tion for me.

  25. I was mar­ried for 23 years to a Navy who went reservist after get­ting out after only 4 years active duty. We divorced in 2000 and I have been granted 1/2 of his retire­ment pen­sion. How do I know when he is retired and when it will be awarded to me. We do not com­mu­ni­cate and he is very quiet about his pen­sion. Will I be noti­fied when he has started his pen­sion so I can request my half?

  26. I was mar­ried 10 and 1/2 years before I divorced. He was Air Force Mas­ter Stg. when he retired. When we divorced he was out of mil­i­tary but as soon as divorce was set­tled he re-enlisted before it was too late. I’m pretty sure at one time he had made me his benefi­cary, at least till he re-married a few years later. I was never informed or knew I was enti­tled to a por­tion or up to half his retire­ment pay so I didn’t request any at time of divorced. If I seek an atton­ery that’s famil­iar with mil­i­tary divocre law and expalin things is it pos­si­ble I can received my share of his pay?

  27. I was mar­rried nearly 13 years to some­one who had been in the mil­i­tary before our mar­riage. He is col­lect­ing ben­e­fits now and owes over $40,000 in back court ordered spousal sup­port. Can I get my dis­abilty changed from Social Secu­rity to his mil­i­tary ben­e­fits, Or col­lect the sup­port from his Va benefits?

  28. After 22years of mar­riage my e-husband and I divorced. I obtained a court order to obtained half of his milatary tetire­ment. I sub­mit­ted the paper for this to come in to be processed when he became 60, which was Sep­tem­ber of this year, of research­ing this mat­ter, I believe he will start to draw that retire­ment at the end of this year. Can you con­firm this to be accu­rate? Thanks

  29. My ex hus­band served in the mil­i­tary for three. We were mar­ried for at least 15 years be for the divorce. Am I enti­tle to any benefits?

  30. My ques­tion is sim­i­lar to many already posted. My step­dad is retired mil­i­tary who col­lects dis­abil­ity. HIS ex-wife divorced HIM just over 15 years ago. He’s been mar­ried to my mom for 14 years. Twice now, my stepdad’s ex has been able to receive a huge por­tion of his retirement/disability money, the most recent case being 2 months ago. Why is it that after 15 years being divorced, 14 years now mar­ried to my mom, this ex-spouse (who FILED against my step-dad) has the right to remove the much needed income from his and my mom’s pock­ets? If HE had filed on HER, I’d understand…it’s just not right that if he dies, my moms income will suf­fer and his ex’s will be in abundance.

    1. did your step dad hire a lawyer? Dis­abil­ity ben­e­fits are pro­tected by fed­eral law…his ex shouldn’t be able to get one dime of any dis­abil­ity funds. Some civil­ian judges and attornies are not aware of this fact. If I were him I’d find a lawyer well versed in mil­i­tary divorce mat­ters to look into whether the money she received came from his dis­abil­ity pay­ment, and if so, fight for it back.

  31. Im in the process of going thru a divorce, my hus­band has been in the Army for 26yrs and we have been mar­ried for 8yrs. He did 13-14yrs active duty and 8-9yrs reserve. I know that there is a 10yr rule as far as how long you have to be mar­ried before a spouse can get part of the retire­ment. I want to know since it has only been 8yrs of mar­riage for me am i enti­tled to any benefits?

  32. I have a friend who’s hus­band died while active duty, she was reciev­ing va, med­ical. She remar­ried, but it didn’t work out, when her divorce is final, can she get her decessed hus­bands benifits back?

    1. med­ical she can never get back, her va, com­mis­sary etc will depend on how old she was when she got remar­ried under 55 she gets none

  33. I was mar­ried to my mil­i­tary spouse for 21 years. After she had an affair and knew she wanted a divorce, she Retired from the Army one month short for me to get the 20/20/20 ben­e­fits. I was with her for 19 years and 11 months while she was in the Army. Her retir­ing like this was cal­cu­lated out so that I would get no med­ical benifits after our divorce. Is there any­thing I can do to appeal this?

    1. no there is noth­ing you can do, one day or one month or one year doesn’t mat­ter regard­ing Tri­care. What I WOULD do is use the Free­dom of Infor­ma­tion Act to request a copy of her DD214 that shows her offi­cial retire­ment date. She may have put in for retire­ment before the divorce but I would not trust her on what the offi­cial date is.

  34. I was mar­ried to now a retired navy for almost 8 years and he was on active duty at that time. . Is there a ben­e­fit for me from his retire­ment or other mil­i­tary ben­e­fit? I remem­ber a legal offi­cer explained dur­ing our sep­a­ra­tion process that there is a for­mula that mil­i­tary use and mar­riage does not have to be 10 years or above.
    Thank you.

  35. I was mar­ried to now a retired navy for almost 8 years and he was on active duty at that time. . Is there a ben­e­fit for me from his retire­ment or other mil­i­tary ben­e­fit? I remem­ber a legal offi­cer explained dur­ing our sep­a­ra­tion process that there is a for­mula that mil­i­tary use and mar­riage does not have to be 10 years or above.

  36. I was mar­ried to Marine for 15yrs. he had in the divorced decree not to recieve any­thing he retired at 21yrs. we were divorced at that time i;ve been divorced about 13yrs. my health is start­ing to fail am i enti­tled to any benefites?

  37. My sis­ter in law’s hus­band died before he retired from the ser­vice –can she still get benefits?

  38. I was mar­ried to a active mil­i­tary for 20 yrs. He is still in the mil­i­tary ( active duty ) do I get my share of his retire­ment up too the time of divorce or when he actu­ally retires actu­ally retires, I know that I don’t start get­ting it until then. just don’t know if the sum is only the time and rank he was then or the time and rank now?

  39. I served 20+ years I was mar­ried for the last 3 years of ser­vice. My Ex-spouse never did a PCS move, We divorced 2 years after my retire­ment. I have to give her a por­tion of my pen­sion every month. Todate I have given her over $17,000.00. I don’t under­stand how a woman that had a larger income than mine at the time of divorce has the right to receive pay­ment. Please help me under­stand why I have no rights here. Why would she still get to col­lect off my pension.

  40. My ex-husband has agreed to waive all rights to my Reserve pay when I turn 60. Is there a form I need to get from AFPC or do I have to go back through a lawyer?

  41. As a for­mer army wife of 28 yes of mar­riage. 20 of which was active duty. He retired as a E-9. I do get half of his retired pay per divorce and Tri-care until I remarry.. what I would like to know ‚when the mil­i­tary gets a raise do I get that also and if he has 10% dis­abil­ity, does that effect my por­tion of mon­eys. I know the raises is not a large amount of money but I’m enti­tled to my part I would like to know..He has of course remar­ried. I just need to know,cause he trys to get over me any way he can.. I didn’t leave the mar­riage, he did for a younger woman.. please help with any info you can pro­vide. It would be much appreciated..

  42. My hus­band was ex mil­i­tary when we mar­ried, we’ve been mar­ried for 14 years and he aban­doned me and our son 10 years ago and we are still mar­ried. He’s now suf­fer­ing with some issues and it seems that VA is assist­ing him with an apart­ment and his light bill has also helped him go to school. My ques­tion is what about me am I enti­tled to any­thing. He has not paid one dime of child sup­port or any­thing. I want him to trans­fer his GI Bill to me or his son or at least allow me to go to school because now I am dis­able and out of work. Is there any­thing out there for me.

  43. Can some­one answer me a few ques­tions, I mar­ried my ex hus­band after he was sep­a­rated from the army under med­ical con­di­tions. He received only 10 per­cent. we divorced after 20 years of mar­riage and did not ask for any of his VA dis­abil­ity or any­thing, how­ever i wanted to see if i was able to get his DD214 so i can join the DAV and VFW and use the local com­mis­sary base stores? We have 2 adult sons 23 and 27 and we have been divorced since 2009. can any­one help me with this?

  44. Hey Rita, the 20–20-20 rule gov­erns your abil­ity to use mil­i­tary facil­i­ties (PX, com­mis­sary, TRICARE etc.). Since you were not mar­ried for 20 years that over­lapped with his retire­ment qual­i­fy­ing ser­vice (he was already sep­a­rated from ser­vice when you mar­ried), you would not be eligible.

  45. I was mar­ried to a navy spouse for six years and now divorced I’ve never received any ben­e­fits even when he was deployed for six months. I’m now pur­su­ing a fed­eral job and would like to return to school. Are there any pro­grams avail­able for me and was I sup­pose to receive any ben­e­fits dur­ing the deploy­ment. I was mar­ried in 99 and divorced in 05.

  46. Unless it was in the decree that he had to main­tain SBP on you (and con­tinue to pay the pre­mi­ums) then DFAS is right you are SOL. If it wasn’t fully worded out in your final decree he was legally able to remove you or add a new spouse as beneficiary.

  47. you may be able to get spousal sup­port, if you work prob­a­bly not, and most states limit the amount of time if can be given for. You can retain Tri­care for one year after divorce but you will pay steep monthly fees for it if you choose to do so.

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